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8:52 a.m. - 2009-06-30

Everyone's said so many wonderful things about Karen. Cosmic. About her kindness. Her pluck. Her integrity. Her wicked sense of humor. Her bravery. Her patience. Her willingness to be there for a friend. All of those things are very true and have been said eloquently and by many. So I'll tell a Cosmic story.

I went to my first Journal Con, the one in DC, because I'd lost enough weight to not be so ashamed of myself. Really. Ever the shallow beastie, eh? Like it would have fricken mattered what I looked like to anyone. Turned out it didn't…and it did.

I knew of some of the folks who'd be there, but hadn't met any of them in person. Cosmic was one of those. Before going to DC I'd hit her diary a few times and I'm guessing she'd read a lot more of mine because when I went out on the hotel's patio that first night and plunked myself down in the middle of a congenial looking bunch and introductions were made Cosmic sat up, gaped at me, then stood up and shouted, "Holy SHIT!!! You're LA the Sage!?! Why the FUCK didn't you ever say you were gorgeous?"

Hysterical laughter all around. Quite the ice breaker, that was.

There was better to come. That night? The next? Memory is a slippery bugger. Anyhow, a bunch of us left the hotel looking for food. It was late and DC is definitely a daytime town. We finally found a café that was still open. It had outdoor seating and we pulled a couple tables together and a very disparate group of near-strangers sat down together to break bread under the stars. Everybody was swapping stories and laughing a lot as you do and somewhere along the line it seemed pertinent to the topic at hand to announce that I had two bottles of breast milk in my freezer. Milk I'd expressed- one bottle for each kid. Cosmic was awestruck by the weirdness. Absolutely the craziest thing she'd ever heard. First, that I'd do such a thing, and second that I'd announce it to people I'd just met. Like it was perfectly normal to have 17 year old breast milk in your freezer. She could NOT stop giggling. Every time she caught my eye she'd laugh even harder. At the end of the meal and we made ready to go back to the hotel I told everyone that if they were ever in my neighborhood they should stop by. Cosmic nodded, said she would, gladly, but we'd be going out for Chinese because it was for damn sure she wasn't eating ANYTHING that came out of my refrigerator!

Crying and laughing, ~LA

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