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Tell me all about it, dear...
Michelle - 2011-10-22 17:08:02
Keep in mind that I'm speaking from the distance of STEP-parenthood, but I do have a mom myself, at least. A lot of times it's hard to really, fully think of someone's kids as being totally separate beings from them, but they are. Alex seems to be, as you said, far more like Mike, and some of that is surely genetic and thus unchangeable. It obviously didn't have to be as nasty as this has turned out, but it's possible that no matter what you'd done raising him, whichever way you'd stepped, eventually you two would have gone your separate ways, because you just wouldn't "gel" as people. I've seen it in my own family; no abuse or nastiness, just two folks who--once the younger one was done baking--found out that they didn't have any real connection other than blood. (But for what it's worth, I think you're awesome and Alex is missing out.)
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beanie - 2011-10-22 17:32:48
My kids are pretty different, too. Basically both well-behaved now, but still both have different ideas about life.
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stepfordtart - 2011-10-22 23:26:00
I have shitty night vision too, but I also have a pair of super-groovy 70s yellow lensed driving glasses of my Pa's which do help a bit. Dont know if they still sell them, but maybe worth a look? s x
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Pam L - 2011-10-23 03:41:29
Oswego!, my Dad got his teaching degree there. I try to remember to think a bout whether or not Paul would want me to talk about him on FB, but sometimes I do if it's benign. Tonight he was in town and at the house getting ready to head downtown for the Zombie Crawl, which reminds me I should check the news in a bit here just in case. I took a picture of him after he'd smeared red gel food coloring, with a drop of blue which made an awesome dried blood effect, around his mouth and various holes he had sliced in an old t-shirt. He asked me not to post it, so I'm not. It will just be for my personal collection I guess, or maybe in a few family emails perhaps.
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artgnome - 2011-10-23 13:24:28
I'm with Stepfordtart and sweet, the yellow or orange lenses help a lot with night driving. Max is a lot like Wolf, which is why I enjoy him so much. I drove through Oswego on the way home from your place! hah! :)
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cccerberus - 2011-10-23 13:51:16
I hear you on son number one. He could call or write once in awhile. One's mother is one's mother, after all. And he has to know deep down that you did your best for him. I guess if he inherited the 'glass half empty' perception, and was old enough to remember whatever residual negative stuff between you and his father that collected in that glass, that is unfortunate for him, you, Alex and whatever offspring he may have. It is a tragedy that you don't hear from him, I hope he reads your blog and comes around.
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terri t - 2011-10-23 15:24:30
I really don't think you could have made the Alex situation different. He is who he is....whether he inherited his father's personality or his maternal grandmother's...is anyone's guess. I have a niece who is nearly 40 years old - the oldest in her family - who recently ran off after destroying her parents former home, buying a barnfull of QVC stuff,
ruining their credit, stealing her mother's credit identity and leaving her husband clueless as to where she is....You just never know.
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Jim - 2011-10-23 17:12:55
I feel chilled through just thinking about SUNY Oswego (event though I've only been there once and that was not during winter).
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poundheadhere - 2011-10-30 07:58:16
I'm sorry Alex doesn't appreciate you. I had that with my kids when they were younger. Now that they're older they're realizing what a self-centered jerk their dad was. Here's hoping your Alex does the same in time.
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