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My Profile
Gram and Them - 2008-05-12
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9:44 a.m. - 2008-05-12
By now Mother's Day is old news, so a quick rundown should suffice. A ridiculously early buffet-style brunch at SIL's country club. Decent food. Excellent service. The food was self-serve except the omelets, but our server kept our glasses and coffee cups topped off, scared up some honey for Gram's tea, and generally added some sunshine to our rather sleepy and grumpy group with her very bright smile and happy chatter. Since it was Mother's Day part of my gift to MIL was to swoop in and handle all the Gram wrangling so my poor MIL could have a relaxed and pleasant meal for once. I think it gave SIL a bit of the green eyed monster to see how chummy Gram and I are. I was like, "Yo SIL, if you ever bothered to visit your grandmother (or your parents, you AWOL twerp) then maybe Gram might have a smile for you too." MIL is an exceptionally dutiful daughter, visiting Gram every single day and doing all of the chauffeuring to doctors and such and does all of Gram's daily living nitty-natty like trash removal, but since she and her mother have been at loggerheads since ever it falls to me to give Gram the physical affection she's obviously starving for. So I hug and kiss her a lot and hold her hand. Mick is astonished how much his stubborn and contrary grandmother stands down from her usual imperious ways and cooperates for me as she does no one else. He calls me the Gram Whisperer. I told him there's no magic to it. I'm a new face, that's all. She and I aren't heartily sick of each other. Gram doesn't feel like she has to 'keep me in line' and I'm not fed up from dealing with decades of her nonsense. I also pointed out that people will starve to death emotionally if they get no physical affection and I give Gram all the snuggles she can handle. I'm a huggy touchy sort anyhow, as he well knows. One of the most difficult aspects about the Year of Silence after Mike and I split up was that no one touched me. A few scattered hugs from friends and Zee washing my hair at the salon and that was it. By nature Aspies are rather touch-me-not, but my little Wolf was a real trooper about letting me hug on him. So much so that he's become something of a snuggle-bunny himself. The staff at his school have commented on it and think it's great, if a bit unnerving if one is used to working with kids who have autistic force fields that repel even the most neutral physical contact. Speaking of contact, I had none at all from my elder offspring. Expected, but hurtful nonetheless. You have to try really hard NOT to acknowledge Mother's Day. An e-card takes what, 45 seconds to send? My son is one chilly bastard. Oh well, what's bred in the bone comes out in the flesh. He might wear my face, but his heart and mind are pure Mike. And I am purely late here. Gotta get over to Wolf's school for monthly review.
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