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1:11 p.m. - 2012-02-09
Making A Spectacle of Myself

Sunday night I'd gone upstairs to lie down for a while. Got back up around 10:00 and on my way downstairs I could NOT get my eyes to work in synch. Even here at the computer my vision was off-kilter. Figuring it was just my cruddy balance I tried to ignore it. Hoped that after a decent night's sleep whatever had gone screwy would have righted itself. No such luck. The next morning it was even worse. I took my glasses off to rub my eyes and finally noticed what the problem was...I'd lost a lens. The left lens in my glasses was gone.

Wouldn't you know I've turned this house upside-down and can't find the damn thing? I do have a spare pair of glasses, big plastic ones that I bought just for chucks and discovered later that not only are they heavy, but the way the color is swirled through the plastic frames the bridge of my nose looks like it has a big red sore on it. So instead of being whimsy alternates the glasses went back into their case and I wrote them off. This has happened once or twice, bought a pair of specs that I ended up hating. But since the lens to my good glasses (the ones with the sunglass clips too!) is still missing the big clunky pink ones are now my all the time glasses. At least until payday next week when I can see about a replacement lens. Something that's sure to be a hassle because my prescription is probably over a year old and they won't give me a new lens until I get an exam and DAMN! Don't I hate being held hostage by money grubbing schemes like this.

GBW came by for a long overdue visit this week. It was great to see her. Funnily enough she's having issues with glasses too. Namely she's been having to wear hers because her contacts weren't doing their job properly anymore. Something Mick can relate to. His contacts fix most of his vision but actually make his close-up vision worse. So he wears magnifying readers when at the computer and such. To Mick the trade-off is worth it because full-time glasses are a pain in the patoot. His job and his leisure activities are too physical to wear glasses comfortably. Even though this means I sometimes end up trimming his beard because Mick can't see well enough to do it himself. Once a month when he changes his contacts he leaves them out long enough to do a massive grooming spree and the shrieks of anguish from the john make me laugh. "Jesus Christ! Why didn't you TELL me my nose hair was this bad???"

Mick is very offended by how he's sprouting hair from everywhere but the top of his head. I twit him sometimes and say he could probably grow a nifty comb-over with his ear hair. Not funny, LA, he growls. I have little sympathy for Mick's getting so hairy in his middle-age. For one thing he's Irish and the men all do that crazy hair thing. Remember Andy Rooney's eyebrows? And for another I'll trade nose hair for this awful pelican chin anyday. Hell, I'd grow back hair too if it meant the jowls disappeared. Hair can be trimmed and waxed. The only thing I can do with these wattles is gather the loose skin up in a bunch on the back of my neck and put a rubber band around it. Then walk backward everywhere.

Speaking of walking, it's time for me to go out for mine. 3 miles every day round trip on the railroad tracks across the street from my house. The track bed is flat, quiet, and once I'm in the woods, private. Since the only day of winter we're going to have this year was on my birthday I might as well take advantage of the clear weather and do my bod some good, you know?

Me and my Sally Jesse Tootsie glasses bid you a good day. ~LA

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