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9:59 p.m. - 2011-10-10
The number you have dialed...

And the rebellion of my mechanicals and electronics continues, this time it's my phone. Its battery won't hold a charge. Fortunately it's still under contract and must be replaced on their dime. It's obvious the phone has not been abused in any way. I've never gotten it wet. It's always in its case when in my purse. It's never even been dropped on the floor. No mean things happened to the consarn phone at all. However this will be my fourth phone within the year. I'm thinking I might have some weird gadget killing physical manifestation I'm not consciously aware of. Like my college friend Ace who couldn't wear a watch. Oh she could wear them all right, but they never told the correct time. Any timepiece on her person would go nuts. Fast, slow, backward, Ace's watches did all sorts of zany stuff. We finally decided Ace was not truly of this time, she was here too early or stayed on too long, something. Ace was NOT part of our time. And her watches were trying to tell her that.

I have no easy answer about my own cell phone killing abilities. Perhaps in another life I pissed off Alexander Graham Bell. Maybe, but that wouldn't explain the other fubar stuff like why my desktop fritzed out on Tuesday and why the Escort's speedometer only works when Mick is driving. Or why the kitchen cd player's volume has laryngitis. Or explain why my blow-dryer died in a poof of stinky burnt hair-smelling smoke last week. Or why both light bulbs in the stove hood blew yesterday.

I'm not kidding. Something freaky is going on. It's as though a Walden-esque life is being forced on me willy-nilly. One by one the gadgets and gizmos which keep me busy and attached to the outside world are dying. Soon it'll be nothing but me and the trees and the critters. I doubt when this happens I'll be overwhelmed with profundity. I'm no Thoreau. More likely it'll finish the job of me going completely off the rails and I will wander around my silent dark house gibbering and pulling out random clumps of my hair.

Though speaking of yard critters I was starting dinner earlier and looked out the kitchen window to come almost nose-to-nose with a doe. Such a pretty girl. She hung around for the entire time I was making dinner. Browsing beneath the magnolia tree and nosing the empty prickly pods on the lawn to see if the squirrels had left any chestnuts. The window was open, but she didn't seem to mind my noise. Cocked her head my way a couple times but wasn't spooked at all. I looked at her big eyes and slender legs and smooth fur and wondered how anyone looking at her could think, "Oh man! I wanna kill that! Wanna blow a big hole in that deer's head and watch her brains splatter."

I don't get that mindset at all. The only thing I happily slaughter is grammar.

The doe in the yard wasn't the only nature thing today. On our trip out for new stove hood bulbs Mick and I took the long, long way home and I finally got Mick up on Perkins Peak. A Monday holiday during leaf peeping season isn't the most optimal time to visit, camera snapping tourists by the hundreds, but it was still a nice visit. The view knocked Mick sideways and he now understands why it's one of my favorite thinking places.

Yes, smartypantses, I do think.Occasionally.

And now I do have to go to bed. Have a busy day tomorrow and need my rest. Shaking down Verizon for a replacement phone is only one of the many stops on the docket.

Good night, lovies. ~LA

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