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5:50 p.m. - 2011-03-15
Whatcha gonna do? Take 2

Mick, who's been a doom crying Chicken Little his entire life, is oddly gratified by the cascading nuclear disaster in Japan. It was a real letdown to him when the BP spill didn't kill us all. It irked the crap out of him when we were at the shore last summer and there wasn't a single oil glob or dead seagull. The man needed a catastrophe, dammit!

He's got one now.

And of course I'm aggravating him to no end by blithely talking about future plans and humming R.E.M. at him when he starts croaking.

Is he correct in his assertions that 'they' aren't telling us everything? Oh for certain. 'They' never do. Even if wide swaths of the world's population starts sprouting huge boils and begins to glow all 'they' will do is recommend sunscreen with an SPF of at least 30. There will be some busywork bullshit about not eating certain types of fresh produce from those 'limited affected areas' and wearing hats and long-sleeves if we go outside. Then there will be a growing stream of government planted sidebar news stories full of cheery 'Did You Know?' stuff about how it turns out strontium actually cures athlete's foot and caesium-137 exposure will up your chances of winning the NCAA March Madness office pool. Honest! We're the government! Would we lie to you?

It's not like he truly wants anyone to get sick and die. But to a dedicated conspiracy theorist as Mick is this mess in Japan is a paranoid nutball's wet dream. I can expect that for weeks and weeks to come my darling man will be upstairs in his den hunched over his computer, eyes bulging, a small thin runner of drool hanging off his chin, relentlessly haunting the forums on the wingnut websites getting his perverse jollies with the rest of the Cassandras as they froth and gleefully point out inconsistencies in 'Their' press releases, and repeat the most dire rumors and grimmest statistics, all while excitedly congratulating each other on being right all along.

"HA! WE knew it! If only the gullible public had listened to us! WE were never fooled!"

Well, good on ya, guys. You've won the paranoiac's lotto. But I have just one question:

Did ANY of you ever DO anything except bitch and feel sorry for yourselves?


You heard me, Alex Jones and Jesse Ventura. If you guys were so smart and far-seeing and had all the answers why didn't you do anything about it?

(*cricket noises*)

Look, I could set up a lawn chair at a busy intersection and cark that somebody is going to get run over, as you guys have. But instead of congratulating myself on being right when eventually someone does get smashed into road pizza, I'd be wondering why the hell I just sat and watched instead of, oh I don't know, getting off my ass and becoming a crossing guard? What good did you do anyone with your doom crying voyeurism? What help are you providing now?

(Much toe scuffing and mumbling about how nothing is their fault. It's the government's, the New World Order, the Bilderbergs', the Masons' doing.)

As you can see things here at Casa Sage will be rather interesting for a while. When Mick starts in with his ranting about how we're being lied to I will nod merrily and ask what kind of idiot ever believed we were told the truth in the first place? Not me. Never did, never will. How is this news? Or anything to be angry about? I was a baby when JFK got taken out. I've been here for Me Lai, RFK and MLK's assassinations too, Kent State, Watergate, 3 Mile Island, Bhopal, Chernobyl, Katrina, and the BP mess. I've lived through thalidomide, DDT, the Dalkon shield, leaking silicone breast implants, and red dye #2. And not once did I ever think we got the whole story. Not when there's that much ass covering to do.

What I do know is I want to finish the spring cleaning, make a nice corned beef dinner on Thursday, and have MIL help plan this year's garden. There's not a damn thing I can do about what's going on in Japan except donate some money that may or may not actually be used to help some folks (again, something I have no direct control over) and keep on keeping on.

I'm just gonna live 'til I die and hope like hell that will be a long time from now.

Astonishing how much that kid in the video looks like Wolf. ~LA

5 Wanna talk about it!

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