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1:59 p.m. - 2011-01-09
Clowns to the Left of me, Killers to the Right.


The sun shines. The temp is above sub-zero. 3/4s of my driveway is melted down to blacktop. I have a toasted onion bagel and clementines and fresh coffee. My feet are dressed in funny, fuzzy polka-dot socks that remind me of this guy. It's all good.

Speaking of my formerly snowy driveway, the other day when Mick was outside clearing it Mr Barky from next-door took the opportunity to compliment our Honda and speak of his snow-thrower envy. How quiet our snow-thrower was! What a great job it did! Mr Barky was mighty impressed. Mick was good and spoke pleasantly and showed off the Honda's cool treads (instead of wheels our thrower has tracks like a tank). Since this neighborly convo took place right behind me on the other side of my office window I stifled my giggles so I wouldn't be overheard. Mr Barky is taking the truce very seriously and I like him for it, but this "Howdy, Neighbor!" manly man chat about yard equipment just got me going. It was so sit-com and goofily cliché!

As was the ex emerging from his lair a little while later to use his snow-thrower. Which is a bellowing, oil smoke belching piece of shit. And since Mick had already cleared 99.9% of the snow, even on Mike's part of the driveway, mostly the ex threw gravel. Gravel that spinged and whammed off MY office windows. But the dick waving, excuse me, snow-throwing contest rules must be adhered to rigorously. After making sure none of my glass was broken I had a hearty laugh over the whole testosterone-laden absurdity of it all.

Though in a way I kind of felt sorry for the men in my life. How much easier it would be if they could just meet in the middle of the yard and bonk each other on the head with clubs! Mick and Mike could clonk each other's skulls and Mr Barky could admire their technique and coo over the size and hardness of their clubs and they'd all be happy.

I apologize if anyone came buzzing over to see what I'd have to say about yesterday's murders in Arizona. If you're a regular reader you've already noticed I'm not saying much in this venue about politics anymore. For one thing my political writing has other places to go these days and I like having this place for my personal navel gazing and talking about hair, kids, and the rest of life's nitty-natty. For another, anyone who's been here a while knows my political bent so why bother to go over it again?

Am I outraged? Of course. Am I disgusted there will be a flurry of self-righteous bluster from those who regularly use the rhetoric of violence to further their political agendas gnarring on and on about how they aren't to blame? Yeah. Will there be much made of the 'isolated incident' claim? Surely. I mean, jeeze, since McVeigh's 'isolated incident' in Oklahoma City there's only been 15 or 16 other 'isolated incidents' committed by 'crazed loners' and if those 'crazed loners' all just happen to have remarkably similar right wing ideologies, well, it's just a coincidence! Don't be so paranoid, you silly people with more than two brain cells! Tsk! That's the problem with those paranoid lefties, always seeing silly 'connections' where none exist. Now let's go burn a Koran because everybody knows reading even a single paragraph will turn you into a terrorist. Unlike listening to and reading a nearly endless stream of harmless 'jokes' about targets, crosshairs, assassinations, locking and loading, Second Amendment solutions, blowing away enemies of the state, and other such fluffy bunny things which have absolutely NO connection to political assassinations and the murders of the nearby innocents. You betcha!


In dire need of soul soothing, which today comes in the form of another toasty onion bagel. ~LA

7 Wanna talk about it!

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