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My Profile
Gift from Hil Part 2 - 2014-12-30
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10:58 a.m. - 2010-12-09
Hey, good morning! I have a couple more things to say about being sick and then I'll shut up about it, promise. First- thanks for all the well wishes. You guys are the best. When I think about my life before the internet and how devoid it was of people who gave a warm crap about how I might be feeling or who cared about my doings, yikes. So having you guys stop by with your friendship and support is an amazing and wonderful thing. Second- I'm getting better. Better enough to leave the house yesterday, do meetings and errands, then at home cook dinner without setting the place on fire and decorate the tree with Wolf and Mick afterward. I was plenty pooped by bedtime, but I'm functioning and on the mend. Third- I realized how lucky I am that I could be ill and not have additional worries on top of it, like missing work and pay and fret over being fired. I've never had a salaried job, always an hourly or commissioned wage slave. If I missed work I didn't get paid. Also, I actually DID get fired once for calling in sick. Lest you think I'd been let go because my absenteeism was excessive, that was the FIRST time I'd ever called in. Feh. Karma caught up with that wicked boss. Anyhoodle, if I had to have the flu, being home to sleep and shuffle around and make tea as needed without sweating the bills and/or my job security on top of it, well, how lucky am I? And if needed I could go to the doctor and not sweat that either. Wow. Lucky, lucky, lucky. That's all I'll say about the flu. At least this round of it. No guarantees that next time I'm down with something I won't be a big ass bore about it then too. Today my teenage elf is home with me. He overslept and missed the bus. Penalty for this is to make being home FAR more miserable than going to school. When I woke up at 8:15 and discovered him here I could have driven him to school and he'd only have been an hour late, but all he'd learn from that is that Mom will save his bacon and be his car service. However, missing the day and having to make up the schoolwork, PLUS a day of chores, yup, pain is a good teacher. So Mr Sleepyhead is already toiling hard and will be for the rest of the day. Woe to he who oversleeps. I learned my lesson about this kind of thing with Alex. Schmuck Mom pulled his butt out of many, many a fire. As a result I ended up with a kid who had very little self-discipline and who took zero responsibility for his obligations. I don't want to leave Wolf in the same mess. Alex never talked about it with me, but I imagine his first year at college must have been one hell of a shock. No Mom the Rescue Ranger to wake him, tutor him, type his papers, negotiate longer deadlines for projects that he'd procrastinated about. No Mom with an extra $20 for fines. No Mom nagging him to go to class or bathe or pay his phone bill. Sad thing is I truly believed I was doing the right thing with Alex. I thought I was giving him all the love and support my own childhood lacked. You know, I'd always be there for him as no one had ever been there for me. Right. Now with Wolf I'm striving for the middle ground. Making sure he knows I have his back in all the important ways, while also teaching him to be responsible for himself. Unfortunately a lot of life lessons come from screwing up and learning from your mistakes. Hard thing to watch and let your kid go through, but as I found out with Alex, it's necessary. See? Even moms learn from their mistakes. Again, the way my life's shaken out I have the luxury of the long view between kids. With 13 years between them I've been able to see the results from the first kid and have plenty of time to change course and tweak things as needed with my second kid. Of course they are different people and what one child might need isn't always what subsequent kids might need, but in general I've been able to see where I put my foot in it with Alex, fix it, and then find new and interesting ways to screw up with Wolf. Sigh�26 years of on-the-job training and most days I still feel like a newbie.
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