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My Profile
Gift from Hil Part 2 - 2014-12-30
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10:16 a.m. - 2010-09-06
Counter to my usual hippy-dippy way lately I've been feeling meaner than snake spit. Snappish, sarcastic, and mostly in frustrated tears from holding back the shitty stuff I'm aching to say. As Mick is the person I talk to most he's the one I want to unload on most. Though no one is truly safe, yesterday at the Shoprite courtesy counter I bit my lip raw in the effort not to shriek at the woman ahead of me who was buying 57 DOLLARS worth of lottery tickets! $57.00???? I was shaking with the need to slap her upside her head and scream, "Jesus God in Heaven, lady! How about you put that money toward the future, or your kids' education or even some goddamn dental work? Your mouth looks like a fucking picket fence! Could you BE any stupider? $57.00 a week is almost THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS a year, you moron! Any clue how much that $3,000 you piss away every year idiotically hoping to get rich would help your bottom line? Huh? Well do you??? If you SAVED that $3K every year you wouldn't NEED to win the goddamn lottery, you schmuck!" And if I feel like I need to tear into a stranger you can imagine how difficult it's been not to rip into those I love. I've spent the last couple of days either hiding in here or upstairs in bed trying to sleep my way through this awful patch. As some folks care about their carbon footprint I care about my emotional damage footprint. To dish as little hurt as I can possibly manage. Loose lips sink ships? So too can they sink someone's well-being. Even as nasty as I'm feeling now I managing to keep my better self in front of me. It ain't easy though.
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