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12:07 p.m. - 2010-07-31
A FAIR-ly Good Time.

Oy, I'll pay for this when I have to drag my poor aching bod and sleep-deprived brain over to MIL's tomorrow to celebrate her birthday. (Over-tired = stupid and cranky. Whoo! New Tea Party motto! 'Only traitors are smart and kind. Real patriots are stupid and cranky!')

But tonight's trip the fair was so cool! It was honestly the best time I've ever had at the fair as an adult. Definitely the most fun I've had at the fair as a parent. Fairs are one of those things parents feel compelled to take their children to, and that's fine, but too often they start bringing the kids when the kids are truly too young to appreciate a fair. Taking a 2 year old to a fair is stupid. 2 year olds, especially those trapped in strollers, don't like fairs. You want to entertain a 2 year old? Give him a box of tissues. 2 year olds adore tissues. They love yanking them out one by one. When the box is empty they like throwing the tissues in the air. Sure they tear a few and eat one or two, but mostly a box of tissues is a 2 year old's idea of a swell time. Unlike being strapped in a stroller and being wheeled around a hot smelly fairgrounds where they have a fabulous view of people's shins all day while the equally unenthralled parents stump along grumbling about the heat and yelling at their bored toddler to have a good time, dammit! You're at a fair!

However, taking a 13 year old to a fair is a worthwhile endeavor. Especially on a mild breezy evening with bracelets entitling us to unlimited rides, a big cherry slushie, and a world that seemed bent on showing us its kindest face.

It started as soon as we pulled in. You can, if you're cheap and/or in good shape, find free parking way, way down the road from the fairground and then hike in, but I don't mind paying to park in the closest lots. The parking concession is always run by a local charity anyhow. So I paid and was waved forward. The line of cars snaked ahead of me for a goodish distance heading out into the pasture where hundreds of cars were already parked as far as the horizon, but a nice young man waved me out of the line and directed me to follow him. Whereupon he pointed to a space in the front row so near the gate as to be a miracle. He smiled and said, "Here ya go. Not so far to walk. Have a great time!" I thanked him and he just smiled again and walked off to direct the other cars into more far-flung spaces. Cool beans.

That's how it went for the whole night. No hassles, no grumps, no rudeness. Wolf and I talked and laughed and played games and went on rides and patted cows and fed a camel. Wolf wanted to go to the freak show, so I paid his admittance and waited outside as he viewed such wonders as the 5-legged dog, the 3-headed calf and the mermaid girl (from Coney Island!). Wolf came out of the tent totally honked off. "Mom! Except for the tiny horses everything was fake, fake, fake!" I hugged him and said he now knew what the deal was with sideshows at a carnival. A life lesson for the low, low price of $2. Later in the evening he did go into another tent to speak with the world's tiniest lady. Wolf said she was very nice. We sat down to have a rest on a bench and he said, "I feel sorry for her, Mom, that she has to be in a tent all day." I explained the tiny lady didn't have to make her living that way. I spun it a bit and pointed out that she gets to travel and meet lots of people and serve as an ambassador of sorts. Talking with folks and being living proof that just because someone looks very different on the outside doesn't mean that on the inside she's any different from us. Wolf thought on it and nodded. "That is pretty cool."

So are you, my big hearted son, so are you.

It wasn't all life lessons and ethical discussions, though it's amazing how often those opportunities crop up if you're paying attention. In line for the roller coaster a little girl asked if she could ride with us. Wolf immediately said yes. The girl's parents were relieved and waved their thanks. I watched my boy make sure his little friend was buckled in properly and told her not to be scared and said to hang on tight. I told Wolf that was very sweet of him and he shrugged. "She was little and all alone, Mom." Then somewhere along the night we ran into a classmate of Wolf's who'd been a thorn in his side all last year and this summer. But Wolf was very nice to the notorious Regina and after we moved on he admitted Regina had matured a little recently and wasn't so bad anymore. No, I don't suppose she is. Because what I didn't share with my boy was seeing for myself the reason she's spent the last 10 months annoying the crap out of Wolf. She's dead gone on him. She's just wanted his attention and didn't know how to get it except to be a huge pain in the patootie. I'll let them work that one out on their own.

I had a great time going on the rides. I stayed off the whirlier ones and those that flung you upside-down. I vomit enough as it is, I don't need to deliberately go after that kind of experience. But Mr Speed and Thrills, of course, went on every contraption they had. Some of them several times. Go for it kiddo, I'll be over here having a beverage and enjoying the people watching. (Always so good at a fair.) Though speaking of beverages, while Wolf was on yet another Barf-o-matic I found a kiosk that sold coffee. A nice young man inside the kiosk had been trying to shake off a rather truculent drunk who was intent on sharing his life's story, "Then the bitch left me! Canya bleeve it? She fuckin' leff me! I didn't do nuthin' to her! Fuckin' cops locked me up too for hittin' on her. Damn bitch." He was finally able to break into the drunk's monolog and excuse himself to wait on me. (The drunk wandered off to buttonhole a random passerby and began his tale of woe again.) So relieved to be free of the drunk the young man gave me the coffee on the house. "Thanks. I was about to call security on him. Enjoy your coffee, ma'am."

I did. Enjoyed my coffee. Enjoyed a wonderful summer night at the county fair. Enjoyed being out with my terrific kid.

Now the tale I began last night and finished just now is told. Must make myself ready to party with the in-laws.


Life is good. ~LA

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