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My Profile
Gift from Hil Part 2 - 2014-12-30
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9:31 p.m. - 2010-07-25
Wow, I needed that! Just back from GBW's place. Technically it was a pool party in honor of her daughter's 13th birthday, but I think the parents had a better time. I know I had a great time anyhow. We laughed and swapped stories and ate and drank wine and didn't let the spates of rain bother us in the least. GBW had the market awnings set up on the deck so aside from a few random drips we stayed nice and dry. The kids horsed around in the pool, there wasn't any lightning so what's the difference if it's raining or not when you're already wet, eh? I'm really proud of Wolf, aside from MJ's son (another friend who's quasi-family as we are) all the guests were classmates of the birthday girl. Tighter than tight the kids have been together as a class at the same private day school since pre-K and it's not easy to make space for oneself in a group this solid, but my boy did just fine. Of course he's known A. since they were little and he met the school gang once before, but time and teenagerdom do take their toll. However Wolf toughed it out and eventually the posse included him in some. In years past after the first snub Wolf would have gotten angry and demanded to leave or done a bunch of dopey inappropriate stuff trying to gain approval/notice, but today he stayed mellow and was the nice polite guy he's worked so hard to become. Bodes well for his going back to district school. I told him this and he gave me a big smile. "It's not so hard anymore, Mom. I think I get it now." Go, Wolf! Heh, here's an example of how fatally easy it is to over-think things when you're a parent. I'd asked Wolf to make A. a birthday card. He did. It was a pencil drawing with a very straightforward 'Happy Birthday' message done on a folded over piece of paper torn from a spiral notebook. The paper still had the ruffly edge on it and the paper was lined, of course. Okay, so here's the thing, did I let him give this to his friend as is, Wolf was obviously fine with it. Or did I insist he trim the ruffled edges off and add some color? OR make a whole new one, this time on much nicer paper? Despite its homely humble makings, the birthday wish was certainly sincere. Let it stand? Or was I being remiss as a mom not to instruct my child in the finer points of greeting card construction? Was I slacking and letting him be a guy? At 13 this isn't really an issue, but as the primary female in his life shouldn't I be clueing my boy in on some of things that'll drive his future girlfriends batshit crazy with his male obtuseness? Give him a leg up on perhaps a nicer card with some attention to detail will score him points with women for whom neatness counts? Or do I hope he'll be lucky and his future girlfriend (someday wife) will understand the sincerity of a birthday greeting done in pencil on raggedy notebook paper? Am I crazy? Probably. But I really do fret about this kind of stuff. I mean I don't ever want to face a tear-streaked daughter-in-law who wails, "He gave me a garage door opener for my birthday!" Oy, in the meantime I'll enjoy my mellow from a lovely afternoon spent in good company and be pleased with my son who, despite his lack of birthday card artistry, was a fine and polite guest and did his old mom proud with how far he's come since his days as Wolf- Playdate Terror.
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