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10:17 a.m. - 2010-05-19
The Ultimate TMI Entry

Whoo! My turnaround time for an entire menstrual cycle is now 11 days! Rock! I can't stay off the cotton pony long enough to have a gyn exam! Whee! I had to reschedule my appointment again. Need I say this is not only exhausting, expensive, and entirely stupid, but it's also frustrating as all hell?

'Woman Exsanguinated By Own Uterus!'

Dateline: Mini-Dunk, NY

A woman formerly known on the internet as 'LA the Sage' was found dead in her bathroom today; her body completely empty of blood and partially buried in a disgusting avalanche of feminine hygiene products. Authorities, who would only speak off the record, said the dead blogger seemed to be a victim of her own reproductive system which apparently had gone rogue. The medical examiner who was on the scene said, "It was really gross."

The deceased's husband, Mick, running tears and obviously in shock was quoted- "The clerk at Rite Aide thought I had three wives, I was in there every other day buying sanitary napkins and tampons. LA was a champ, hardly ever complained but was, you know, a bit touchy most days and had to have a supply of Pamprin, potato chips, and Lindt truffles on hand at all times."

The victim's son, Wolf, was a bit more sanguine. "Well, she was always crying and yelling at me. I'll miss her, but it'll be nice to be able to get in the bathroom occasionally now. She was always in there! And, man, was she cranky!"

In lieu of flowers as per the deceased's request memorial donations may be sent to: Women On The Rag International- a well-respected relief organization with a sterling reputation for aiding the constantly menstruating world-wide.

Bugger, shit, damn, crap, and…FUCK YOU, Girlie Parts!!!! ~LA

7 Wanna talk about it!

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