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2:20 p.m. - 2010-04-08
Bringing Scattershot To a Whole New Level

Well that was interesting. Today I attended the first meeting of group. 4 women, 2 therapists (also women), and a whole roomful of issues. Figured while I'm shopping for a new one-to-one counselor that I'd give group a whirl. Like I said, today was our first session and hopefully I won't sound like a judgmental noogie when I say the archetypes were represented perfectly.

Of the therapists one was a murmuring comforting one and the other was a more dynamic challenger type. You know, "And you approached it that way because…?"

Of we groupies there was the angry aggressive one, the histrionic martyr, the nervously chattering introvert, and a know-it-all. Any guesses who the last one is?

Should be interesting. I'm certainly not going to prattle on about what everyone's issues are nor I am thinking I'm only in this for the good story material. Goodness knows I've got my own shit and am cautiously looking forward to getting feedback on my stuff. I'm just saying on the surface this group seems like it was put together by Central Casting. Jung would have been thrilled. My only fear is I'll be too busy settling everyone else's stuff, using the properly deferential "I" speak and being my usual manipulative charming self of course, that I won't get as much back as I put in. For me the whole point of participating in this group grope is being free to blurt and talk about my shit without always being mindful about how it comes across and fricken explaining everything like I have to do here at home. Between expanding Mick's limiting egocentric view into something that serves him better and having to break down the world and its quirks into itty-bitty logical bites for my socially isolated kid I've set myself up as the perpetual camp counselor/encounter group captain/cruise ship entertainment director. Instead of forever having to do psycho-social triage for them I'd be thrilled if I could talk about my own inner workings for once.

Not that I don't have a fabulous support group right here, I do and there's none better. I'd just like to have a place in 3-D, one where friendship is less of a factor and solutions are the primary goal. I'm horrible about accepting advice and I'm thinking that a time and place set aside just for soliciting advice and feedback is probably a very good thing. Be good for me to go into a setting where I'm ready beforehand to actively seek out others' opinions and not immediately throw up the walls and snarl, "Yeah? And what the hell do you know about my life and how I feel?"

Volunteering for that kind of exposure and open-eared listening to others' takes on my situation is fricken scary. But I'm also kind of hopeful that if I do allow myself to get into a blazing row with someone over what she thinks might be going on with me the repercussions will be minimal. Here if I go off on someone I risk a very necessary friendship or am all tangled up in some stupid flame war with a troll who means exactly dick to my actual life. In group I'm not obligated to be friends with the others, but neither will they be complete outsiders who like dropping hurt on cyber strangers just for the thrill of being an utter asswipe.

Onto a completely different topic, I'd like to wish SJAT a very Happy Birthday. Brainy, amusing, and anxiously awaiting the birth of his first child, Si is a great guy. Not only should you read his blog, you should buy his books. And leave him the good thought about his natal day and/or an encouraging word about his impending fatherhood. Lord knows we writers and parents can use all the support we can get.

And yet another screeching change of topic, I have been waging war on the stink bugs. That's right, Ms Lets-Spiders-Live has gone gonzo on the wretched, creepy stink bugs. They are grossing me right the hell out and instead of my former flower child way of catching them and releasing them out in the yard I grab any bit of handy paper and smush those fuckers dead. They go with a shuddersome splatty crunch that occasionally makes me throw up in my mouth a little but the stink bugs HAVE to go. Sometimes I get all girly-wiggy and make Mick come kill them, but this is more for the pseudo-dragon slaying aspects and my own sick pleasure in being 'protected' from the big bad stink bug. Mostly I kills 'em when I finds 'em. And finding them is no challenge since the awful things are trundling along everywhere. Nasty, nasty, nasty.

So there you go. Jungian archetypes, group therapy, a birthday, and the wholesale decimation of stink bugs. Just your average Thursday here in Sage Land.

Tonight there shall be pizza for dinner. I have decreed it. ~LA

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