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6:08 a.m. - 2010-03-12
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Woke up at 4:40am and after lying there for a bit absolutely befuddled by the infomercial that was on I realized my renegade nose was not going to let me go back to sleep so I shook off the weirdness from the ad and came down here to make tea and take something for my leaky faucet of a schnoz. The infomercial, btw, was for rather expensive dildos and vibrators. Two impossibly perky and wholesome looking young women were holding up an astonishing assortment of personal pleasure appliances and describing them in the same chirpy tones the presenters on QVC do when hawking porcelain anniversary clocks and DiamoniqueŽ jewelry.

I'm no prude and think it's lovely that women's sexual pleasure is taken seriously enough that there's an entire industry devoted to manufacturing things that buzz, pulsate and wriggle, but I have to say it's damn odd to wake up to find a nice young lady on the TV brandishing a gigantic latex penis while her equally nice (wearing glasses and a cardigan!) partner extols the virtues of its rotating pleasure pearls and variable speed G-spot stimulator attachment.

Just odd, not offensive. Certainly nowhere near the slimy offensiveness of the infomercials for 'Girls Gone Wild'. Those ads make me puke. And when the hell did young women ever get sold the bill of goods that drunkenly flashing their breasts and making out with their friends for the delectation of slobbering men jacking off at home in their recliners was considered 'sexual empowerment'?? Pisses me right the hell off, that does. No, sweetheart, you are not sexually empowered by waving your nearly naked self at a video camera, you are being objectified and used. Being empowered is about having control over your own sexuality and pleasure, it is NOT about being 'free' to make a spectacle of yourself and offer up your body and dignity for the masturbatory thrills of the drooling slobs who buy those dvds. Put your clothes back on, go home, buy a buzzy toy that does you fine and take care of your own pleasure. In private. Or with company if you prefer, just leave the video camera off. Okay? Yes. Okay.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Top o' the morning to you. ~LA

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