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12:45 p.m. - 2010-03-08
All Thumbs

Another 'start it before the gym, finish it after the gym and hope like hell something cool happens in between' entry!

I could so be wearing my smaller jeans if only my thighs would cooperate. The butt and fly parts of my jeans aren't just loose, the whole upper section stands away from my body with a good inch all the way around. However the ham hock thighs are meatier than ever. Come the apocalypse and afterward when all the Pringles are eaten up and it's time to be cannibals, y'all might want to remember that. You put these hefty shanks of mine into a nice brine for a few days and roast over a hickory smoke fire and they'll be some damn fine eatin'. Put Smithfield Farms all to shame.

I told Mick this would happen and he scoffed. "Muscles only get bigger if you work specifically to make them bigger. Besides, women don't bulk up from working out unless they use steroids."


Phooey on this sturdy peasant DNA! I'm telling you some pervert ancestor of mine got frisky with a Clydesdale and here we are a few generations later and LA is stuck with thighs that could pull a beer wagon. The rest of me isn't quite as fluffy as it used to be, but Eric Heiden called the other day weeping with envy over my thighs. I told that lachrymose Hans Brinker to go suck on his gold medals and leave me alone. Damn speed skaters.

Time to go to the gym and add some more mass to the Thighs That Crushed Pittsburgh. Sigh…

And I'm home! With a war wound too. A piece of equipment didn't lock properly and my thumb got smashed. It's already turning black beneath the nail. Fortunately only the edge of my thumb got clobbered and the black beneath the nail is just in one corner. Closer to the middle and I would have probably lost the nail. Eventually. You know how that goes. Or maybe you don't if you've never done yourself a damage that way and caused an injury to the nail bed. Takes a while for a wounded digit to shed its nail. Funnily enough I've lost that thumbnail before. I was 6 and using a shopping cart as a scooter. The empty cart did a wheelie, flipped backward, I went sprawling and the handle came down on my outstretched fingers. My thumb got it worst. Took a few days before the nail came off. I remember how gross it looked and being rather fascinated by how disgusting it was. Kids, eh? I also remember the beating I got in the car after the accident, my mother was furious I'd caused such a furor and that the store manager had gone over to the snack bar and gotten a cup of ice for my mashed fingers. She was soooo embarrassed. Rightie-o, Mom. Thanks for the love and concern.

Today's wound is slight and my thumb doesn't hurt too much. And no, I'm not going to sue PF. Gads, I know there's folks who would and don't I loathe them for turning the world into nothing but bogus 'victims'? Forcing idiotic safety precautions onto everyone and everything. Making every public entity into lawsuit leery nannies who live in terror of being sued for others' ineptitude? My thumb took a whack at the gym, bfd. Shit happens.

In culinary news, so thrilled with my new Dutch oven that yesterday I put a roast to soak in marinade. Going to try my own modified version of sauerbraten. See, I dislike juniper berries (yes, this includes gin, no martinis for me, thanks) and they are used in the traditional marinade. I changed things up. The sauerbraten marinade I threw together is: vinegar, blush wine, bay leaves, minced garlic, cloves, horseradish, pickled ginger, soy sauce, minced onions, crushed black pepper, kosher salt, carrots, and thyme. Probably a couple other things I'm forgetting, but I figure it'll be pretty darn good. The meat is a nice chuck roast with good marbling. I'll cook it up Wednesday and serve it with red cabbage and latkes (potato pancakes for the Yiddish impaired). Yummers.

Tonight is chicken cacciatore and angel hair pasta. Shoprite had whole legs with the thighs on sale last week for 49 cents a pound! I forgot to buy fresh basil though and have to use dried, but nobody here is overly picky.

Tomorrow is boneless ribs in bbq sauce with red skin potato salad and corn on the cob. Frozen, but pretty good. It'll do until fresh corn on the cob season.

Wednesday is the sauerbraten. Thursday is soft tacos (has to be something quick and easy, it's dance lesson night). Friday is seafood sauté with wilted spinach and penne. Saturday? Major gourmet feast…I'll demand to go to Wendy's. Heh.

Right now I'm going to drag my smelly gym-weary self into the shower and then have a humongus bowl of vegetarian vegetable soup.

Wish me luck with tomorrow's big deal IEP meeting at Wolf's school. ~LA

7 Wanna talk about it!

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