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9:00 a.m. - 2010-02-16
Free Form, Full Blown Freak Out.

Sorry to start out with the negative, but I am furious. It is snowing like hell. Mick's district is closed. Usually his district is the last dog hung when it comes to calling for delays or snow days. So when he said he'd gotten the snow day message I rolled over and went back to sleep. If Uber Sports district was closed than everybody would be closed, right? Wrong. At the usual bus time I hear the front door slam open and Wolf shout upstairs, "The bus is here! Bye!"


I quick rolled out of bed and looked out the window. Sure enough there's Wolf's bus pulling away into the snow storm with my kid on it.

So many questions. Why is school open? We still have a bunch of unused snow days and winter is winding down fast. Why not use one today? Because, you know, it's SNOWING? And the roads are a fricken disaster?

Why was Wolf up anyhow? I heard Mick call through his (Wolf's) bedroom door that he (Mick) had a snow day, so he and I assumed Wolf was also off and would go back to sleep. Why did Wolf go? Had he eaten? Had he taken his meds? Brushed his teeth? Is he dressed properly? I don't know!

I hate this. I hate that my kid went flying out of here and however unintentionally I was caught with my pants down. I hate that his school is open and the forecast says the storm is supposed to get worse as the day goes on and the roads already suck. I hate it that Wolf is out in this and I hadn't been awake to supervise, feed, make sure he was dressed properly, and say good-bye.

I have no faith that everything will be fine. What in my life ever is? Call me neurotic or a drama queen or whatever, but bitter experience has shown me that if there's the tiniest opening for hurt and pain to get into my life it comes in like gangbusters. I think my son disappearing into a snowstorm while I hadn't been on watch certainly qualifies as one of those opportunities. We live in the boons and he's on that damn bus for almost an hour. An hour on filthy icy roads in a who-knows-how-it's-maintained school bus, roads with asshole careless drivers who careen around like deadly clowns even in good weather and snow just makes them a million times worse. At least once a week there's another story in the paper about some dithering chucklehead who rammed a school bus or ran over a kid getting off one. Hell not two months ago a POLICE CAR slammed into a school bus and sent every kid on it to the hospital and crippled the driver. When even the cops ignore a school bus's flashing lights what hope is there that those fuming angry tailgating buttheads who drive like kamikazes anyhow will take any care to drive with a bit of caution on snow slick roads and be mindful of school buses? None.

I want to grab the keys to Mick's truck (our only vehicle with 4WD) and go get my boy. I know that's crazy. I know he'd be no safer with his neurotic panicked mother at the wheel, especially since I can't drive in snow worth a diddly damn. Severely out of practice. Not ever needing to be out on the roads in shit weather is one of the reasons I became a writer in the first place. I know I'm letting my galloping guilt and shrieky superstitious freakazoid mind run amok. No need for you trolls to dog-pile on the crazy woman and gleefully point out I'm being foolish.

But the snow is continuing to pile up and I can't help it. I want my son home. NOW.

It's going to be a long, long, long day. ~LA

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