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5:59 p.m. - 2009-12-30
You can sleep in it? Wow.

Just gave the Bare Minerals® starter kit a try. Mick had given it to me for Christmas, that I just now got around to using it is no reflection on the gift. The couple outings since Christmas were pretty much "Hurry up and GO!" and I didn't want to take the time to figure out how to apply the new stuff, so just slapped on my usual maquillage. Something I can do in about 4 minutes, without a mirror if needs be, though not recommended. Last night I watched the instructional dvd that came with my new kit. Mostly a commercial for the other products in the line, but helpful enough.

My thoughts so far on Bare Minerals?

Coverage? Barely adequate. But this is my first go and I'm sure I'll figure out how to apply it better. Ditto the speed of application which was lengthy and required a lot of do-overs and buffing.

Color? Again, too early to say for sure, but the 'fair' is VERY fair and a bit ghostly looking on my choleric face. I can see I'll be doing quite a bit of bathroom alchemy to get the color right. I may also pick up a tub of 'medium' to mix with the two shades of fair that came in my kit. As I get older the former porcelain goth white complexion is becoming ruddier and darker. Also since my face is morphing into my mother's (God help me), so too might my skin tone be changing to look like my da's.

Sagen Sie, "Auf wiedersehen aus 'die kleine rosa madchen'." 'The little pink girl' was my childhood nickname amongst my da's mostly brown-skinned family. Weird how over the last decade I've gone from looking like a Hummel (complete with a bisque-white round face, apple cheeks and snub nose) into someone with a longish face with an aquiline nose and swarthy skin. I hardly look anything like my passport photo anymore.

Anyhoodle, the Bare Minerals…

More color- Do the tapping! If you don't know from mineral make-up 'tapping' is the next step after swirling the applicator brush in the powder. If you don't tap off the excess, well, you get what I did with 'warmth', which is to say the hectic color of the last stage tuberculosis patient. I've seen kewpie dolls with less aggressive paint jobs than the one I'm sporting at the moment. Nobody this close to 50 has such rosy cheeks. Except maybe Santa, but see above about not having a button nose anymore, my resemblance to the Jolly Fat Man is limited to the belly that shook like a bowlful of jelly. As horrible as my lengthy descent into menopause has been so far, I have NOT sprouted a beard. So nar, nar, nar. Go easy on the 'warmth' if you know what's good for you. Unless looking like someone dying of carbon monoxide poisoning is your thing, then go forth and have the joy of it.

Overall appearance? Aside from the ghostly pallor and insanely rosy cheeks, this stuff has A LOT of mica in it. Meant to simulate 'dewy freshness' the sheen on my noggin is a tad much, at least in my opinion. Jowls and 'dewy freshness' just ain't happening. Usually when I'm sporting this much shine it's the aftermath of a rigidly tamped down hot flash. I don't care how 'dewy' my skin pretends to be, nobody will be fooled into thinking I am anything but what I am- an almost 47 year old woman with nutty hormones and a box of pricey make-up.

Jeeze, LA, any up sides to this stuff?

Oh surely. The brushes that come with are FABULOUS!!! Silky smooth, densely packed bristles. Nice chunky handles. Considering the price of excellent quality make-up brushes, the starter kit is worth the purchase just for the brushes alone. Even if you junk the powders and use the brushes with your own stuff you've made a wise investment.

Plus, on the dvd the inventor/pitchwoman has this totally fun whistling lisp thing going on. Sounds like a bridgework lisp to me, rather than she's compensating for a juicy Sylvester the Cat lisp. In any case this woman is simply adorable. So earnest, so badly coifed, so syllabant. I just wanted to kiss her overly made-up face! Seriously, she was that cute. Major entertainment bang for your buck.

Since Mick has gifted me with this stuff (unbidden, I might add, the man braved the estrogen-laden horrors of ULTA all on his own hook), I will keep mucking around with it. Judiciously melded with my existing cosmetics and applied with my not inconsiderable make-up skills I think I can make it work just fine. Anyhow, I got cool brushes out of the deal and that ain't bad.

Signing off, beauty consultant to the internet at large and gold medalist for the US Olympic Grooming Team, ~LA

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