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Tell me all about it, dear...
Amy - 2011-04-27 16:05:42
I hear you. Rest, relax, indulge and recharge. When you're feeling good, I hope you'll revisit this with them. You'll be doing your future self a favor.
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terri t - 2011-04-27 16:15:04
I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. Husband got it in his head that he wants a new car....1. our son and dil need a newer car; we could sell them our 2 yr old car and use that money towards a new car and it would "only" cost us the difference (OVER $12,000 MORE). Then son & dil said they couldn't afford our car but husband had a dream. Since I put up some solid reasoning of why we don't NEED a new car; he was pouty....I told him to go to the dealer and get the bottom number and if they DID give us the same credit on our car that son would have paid; maybe we could discuss it. So today he went back, of course the dealer did NOT come through with all the promises of 2 days ago and did not write down all the credits he had mentioned. The car would cost us nearly $3000 MORE than they said 2 DAYS AGO. Husband talked himself out of the car. But the dealer wants to talk to his mgr and call us back. Meanwhile, husband is all sad and down in the dumps and I have to get through the rest of the day.
You have my sympathy....
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Rosie - 2011-04-27 17:37:32
Here's a thought...you have your office, right? Design a cute door-hanger that effectively says that you are "Out for Lunch" (In whatever way the boys will understand) and USE IT!
The rule should be that while that sign is up, nothing short of an emergency should bring them to your door. Now, of course, you can't put it up permanently!
Another way to bring the issue to bear is to treat them as they have been treating you. Just as Mick is settled in doing something he enjoys or even just relaxing, come in with an annoying task, something that needs to be done now! Repeat just when he gets settled in again. Do the same thing to Wolf.
Just when they start to implode, sit them down and explain that this is why you need your "do not disturb" time, that you love them, and are willing to help them, it's just that sometimes it seems never-ending, and not being able to have a break is driving you batty.
I've experienced it myself, with a husband, two kids, and an employee or two all asking me where and what and how I wanted things done in the B&B. One day, I calmly told them to use their best judgment, and I climbed into the car and went for a nice, uninterrupted drive. I told them that if they called me on the cellphone for less than a house on fire, I would disown all of them. They got the message.
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stepfordtart - 2011-04-27 20:12:20
I find a well placed "Will. you. bugger. OFF!" works quite well, especially if followed half an hour or so later by "right darling, what did you want to tell me earlier. I wasnt able to listen then, but I am now" and a smile. Doesnt always work but sometimes does! s x
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Deb - 2011-04-27 22:42:05
They are male. Enough said. I think we need to plan a visit. Me to you this time?
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beanie - 2011-04-28 02:50:45
Or maybe a code word used only in dire emergencies, like the well placed bugger off of stepfordtart. I used to go for a walk.. no one bothered me there, because I never took my phone. Heh.
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Stephanie - 2011-04-28 09:23:27
It used to be like that for me, too. It was terribly draining. I hope you will be able to get them to understand how important it is to be left alone when you ask that you be given some space.
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michele - 2011-04-28 13:47:26
my hubs & kids are the same way - kids especially. they could be standing right next to their father in the kitchen, and will still search all over the house to ask if they can eat an apple for snack.
when it gets to much for me, i schedule library time. i take my laptop and head to the local library for the evening. you're not allowed cell phones in the library, so no one thinks of calling. they re-learn mommy isn't the be-all end-all of life and i get some badly needed quiet alone time:)
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