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Tell me all about it, dear...
Anna - 2010-12-17 18:03:25
No words of wisdom, I'm afraid, just lots of love. You've done brilliantly, absolutely brilliantly, almost superhuman resilience. I think a break in a faraway land is indicated. xxx
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terri t - 2010-12-17 19:10:02
I have no words of wisdom either. The life you have is one that I can't imagine. You deserve a reward...a BIG reward. I can't believe that homeschooling would make a difference at all; he needs to socialize with other kids....maybe when he discovers girls he will want to go to school?
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Poolie - 2010-12-17 21:23:31
Homeschooling is not good. Only if you live 500 miles from school. The doctor I file for is an Aspie specialist. I read so many stories of the struggles and the challenges. I give you great kudos for hanging in there, LA.
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Mary - 2010-12-18 01:00:24
Not criticizing you in any way, because I can't even imagine how hard it must be. But I am turning over in my mind how to get Wolf to think it's his idea to get to the bus on time? Is there something wonderful he's longing for that could be his if only he'd decide that pleasant mornings are worth his time? Have you asked him if he has any ideas about how things could change? From what you've said about him in the past, he does have a sensitive side, surely he doesn't feel good about making your life hell. At least not every day.
I completely get it that sometimes letting them take the consequences of their actions has results that are unacceptable. It's so hard. Hugs to you. And if this is assvice, because I don't know a whole lot about Aspies, feel free to flip me the bird long distance.
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Stephanie - 2010-12-18 11:59:08
Wow. I only had to go through a few years of hell with Leigh, and it almost broke me. I don't know how you do it, day after day, year after year.
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Carolyn - 2010-12-18 13:50:02
I read you often and this entry touched me. I have no idea how you do the things you do. My oldest was...very stubborn and naughty. Not mean to others naughty, just "let me stir up some shit and step back to see what happens" naughty. The only thing I truly remember of his teen years was the exhaustion. Utter and complete exhaustion. I can remember telling a friend (who was giving me yet more unrealistic advice) "You don't get it. There is no conquering him. You could literally beat him to death...and with his dying breath he would look at you and say 'That didn't hurt!'"
Hugs!
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Katherine - 2010-12-18 14:35:36
I am so very sorry to hear about this and admire so very much your tenacity and endurance. Much easier, I'd imagine, to deal with an enormous blast of disaster than to trudge through the morning wars year after year. Love you and think you're the wisest and the best. XO K.
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Pam L - 2010-12-18 15:07:11
It does seem, and is, a long haul for you, but I know you will get through it. What are the alternatives, that is what I ask myself, and my challenges are nothing compared to yours.
My ADHD/inattentive/teenage/boy and his brother before him are/were not the easy peasy get them up , ship them off kids. People have asked me why I get up at 5:30am each day, why not let them suffer the consequences. My answer is simply, I cannot. Not going to school is not an option. I figure it is my job to at least get them there and nag them when they get home to get their work done until they are out of my house. After that, they are on their own. I know if I did not, mine would not get up, would not make it to school on time/at all and would be so deep in the hole of nothingness they would never get out. My older son was proof, but I got him through High School. After that he insisted on moving out and trying to go to college while working. It did not work, but he did learn how to get himself up and out the door. I'm sure it was not always on time, but at 18 , it was not my problem anymore. He worked for 5 years and supported himself until HE was ready to put himself through school , which he did with all A's. My younger one now is planning on going to college and living on campus. I know and understand why he doesn't want to live at home and go to school. Quite frankly I feel he has a 50/50 chance of success in his first attempt, but he's gotta do what he's gotta do. He will succeed eventually and I will have done my job. I am, however, looking forward to 6-6:30am, rather than the 5:30am alarm.
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