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Tell me all about it, dear...
Kathy - 2010-01-06 15:05:44
I bet that were you to rearrange everything in Mick's den that he wouldn't care. Might not even notice! This is a sweeping generalization but, uh, men? Don't give a crap about that kind of stuff. Which might explain why he doesn't get the territorial stuff. I feel for you!
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sandy from iowa - 2010-01-06 15:09:43
I feel the very same as you..i hate having my stuff gone thur or moved.
I like the way I have it and plan to keep it that way.
Go for it...do what ever you must to keep it the WAY YOU WANT.
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Poolie - 2010-01-06 15:50:35
Oh man.....good luck with this one. Wear big boots so when you stomp down the law he gets it!
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beanie - 2010-01-06 16:30:23
The ex never cared about my stuff.. until suddenly he would notice something and decide that it had to go. Little sentimental things were just "junk" and he didn't see why I wanted to keep them. Yeah. Just one more reason...
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terri t - 2010-01-06 18:07:40
Oh man, I can hear the choir now.....I agree. Husband and I don't get into purses, wallets, mail without asking or being told to do so. BUT he has no problem wanting to "fix" my space, clear it out and all. I have told him several times that this is my computer room and I like it just the way it is and if he doesn't...GET OUT...He is starting to get the picture. I think part of it is boredom. Funny how he "teases" about me keeping stuff and plastic bags but when he NEEDS something, he asks me to come up with a gift or a big at a second's notice.
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Rosie - 2010-01-06 19:41:22
Personally, I don't really care if Josh goes through my stuff. I do mind if someone "straightens up" and then I can't find my shit. And I'd be really pissed if someone presumed to rearrange my rooms or my decor.
Good luck with the object lesson!
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perl - 2010-01-06 20:20:42
time of the month, dear?
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Stephanie - 2010-01-06 21:50:52
Living in pretty close quarters myself, I can so relate. There are certain things that are off-limits to anyone who isn't me, and I'd be plenty pissed off if anyone intruded those private spaces.
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dichroic - 2010-01-07 02:51:34
I think it's probably not worth getting angry about yet. Worth having the discussion, definitely. Worth getting angry about after you've had the discussion if he still does the same stuff, yes. But right now, I suspect he was mostly baffled that you got upset about the rearrangement of the magnets. This looks to me like the sort of thing where everyone has different boundaries, and most of us don't even realize it until our own are encroached on.
So don't get mad: explain calmly that this is something that matters to you, who can say why, and would he please to not be encroaching on your turf. He doesn't have to understand it in his gut, just that this matters to you like [fill in the blank] does to him.
And then if he continues to encroach, rip his head off. (That might need to happen once or twice to prove that you're serious and that it really is something that matters, not just something that bugged you on a particular day.)
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im2qt2kr - 2010-01-07 07:33:04
OH NO HE DIDN'T!!! Geez, what is it with men? I sooo can relate to this. This has been the biggest problem of adjusting to being married that I have had. Hubby can't understand why I have certain things that are mine, all mine, and he's not to touch, move, change, etc... He can't even understand that all my life, whenever we'd go to the grocery store, I was allowed to get one thing that was mine and I didn't have to share it with anyone. It made me feel special. Hubby things that anything that comes into the house should be fair game. I've even bought two of something just so I can have something that's all mine and, if I want to have it, I know it's still there. Noooooo, he'll finish his share of something and start in on mine. so not right.
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Jim - 2010-01-07 17:34:51
Oh, yeah, absolutely right: never mess with anyone's office... especially not mine! There are six pictures on the wall in our living room (plus another nine on top of bookcases, fireplace mantle, etc.) My office, which is less than half the size, has three dozen pictures (paintings, drawings, photographs, framed posters) on its walls plus another half a dozen on top of bookcases. I like lots of pictures on my walls and this is the room where my taste rules. I totally understand. I would be extremely upset if Nancy were to remove or rearrange any of the pictures I have on my walls. She can change the living room around all she wants, but hands off my office. We settled on that long ago; I think you and Mick need to sit down and discuss what is family stuff and what is personal and private stuff.
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awittykitty - 2010-01-09 04:14:56
My mom's third husband went on a "cleaning" rampage one day and threw away a box with all my baby movies. He wouldn't let me rescue them. I never forgave him for that. They weren't his, they were mine. But he got all macho about it, strapping everything to his truck to take things to a dump. I was davastated.
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