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Tell me all about it, dear...
Jenn - 2005-06-07 09:35:22
Rage, howl, rant, cry or laugh as much as you want. D-land is as safe a place as any to be yourself. I'm rooting for you, woman. Good thoughts and vibes and cyber-hugs to you. -J
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Harlan Ellison - 2005-06-07 10:19:17
I've looked everywhere, and I'll be damned if I can find it, but I know I read that passage somewhere; I think in Kerouac; but I can't locate it now, so you'll just have to go along with me that it's there.
Would I lie to you?
It's a scene in which a young supplicant, an aspiring poet, somebody like that, seeks out this knowledgeable old philosopher -- kind of a Bukowski or Henry Miller figure -- in Paris or New York or somesuch bustling metropolitan situs . . . and the kid comes to the old guru in his ratty apartment, and he sorta kinda asks him that old saw about the meaning of life. Correction: LIFE. He squats there and says to the old man, "What's it all about? What's it mean? Huh?"
And the old man purses his lips and beetles his brow; he perceives the kid is really serious about this; it's not just jerk-off time. So he nods sagely, and clasps his hands behind his back, and he walks to the window and stares out at the deep city for a while, just sorta kinda ponders for a while. And finally, he turns to the kid and he says, with core seriousness, "You know, there's a lotta bastards out there."
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Jenn - 2005-06-07 10:35:22
I hid. Doesn't made me a coward. Just makes me private. You go girl...
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dichroic - 2005-06-07 11:50:04
My only question is, do you have to heal yourself? Is there someone who could help? Your mood swings have a hell of an amplitude and whether they're caused only by menopause or if the MS or other factors are contributing, it seems an awfully heavy burden to bear solo. Or is this yet another case of our wonder (/heavy sarcasm) medical system not at work?
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Soulstyce - 2005-06-07 11:54:45
You go sister, it is your diary, and you deserve to get every damn feeling out there, because they're yours and they'll only fester inside! *hugs* and <3 for your courage to not let those bastards beat you :)
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bathtubmary - 2005-06-07 13:10:59
i feel privileged, as your reader and friend and admirer, that you choose to keep sharing your whole self with those here who care about you. if anybody has anything to say about it, well fuck those assholes. big hugs. xoxo, d
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red-wine - 2005-06-07 13:19:28
See, by tackling it head on and refusing to back away, you're already going way better than about 95% of the general population. I too am proud to call you my friend. I always thought of you as the personification of "If you're not outraged you're not paying attention" in all things.
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Pandi - 2005-06-07 14:30:25
Huzzah! When I first came to d-land, I saw you as a sort of role model for the self-exploration and growth I wanted to do here, and as a strong woman worthy of respect and admiration. Although I still can't pull off the self-exploration and growth stuff myself, I marvel at how you do it, and I still think you are a strong woman worthy of respect and admiration. The world is ludicrous, LA. This country's "leadership" is ludicrous. So many of us feel as you do about everything from politics to how flippin' RUDE this country has gotten. But think of it this way: the fact that there ARE so many of us means that not all people suck.
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Witchful - 2005-06-07 14:36:03
Amen, and amen again. I will likely have to do quite a bit of oozing and puking myself in weeks to come, so you know I'm with you.
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Autumn - 2005-06-07 14:47:12
Your diary. Your feelings. Your words. And don't let anyone else's words bother you. Go, girl!
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cosmic - 2005-06-07 17:04:03
Some days you make me laugh out loud. Some days you just make me smile. Some days you get me thinking. Regardless, it is not your job to make me laugh or smile or to entertain me. You have enough jobs at home without being anything to anyone else. I will continue to be there when you puke. I shall stand by you when you ooze. I will just be silent and be your friend.
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anabels - 2005-06-07 20:19:20
To be a witness to your self-discovery is priviledge enough. Beauty takes many forms but it tends to get lost when it is window-dressed. Safe travels on your journey. Hugs Bels
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Mayhem - 2005-06-07 22:41:30
Something to think about ... emotions and traumas are like onions. You peel the layers. There are more below, but if you have done it once you are started towards getting it managable. Good luck and keep writing. It is the fears and traumas we never name that gain the power to take over our lives.
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Sif - 2005-06-08 05:03:27
Oh, do, continue to unfold. Your honesty and openness in what you write is why I read - not because it's pretty or nice.
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Denver doug - 2005-06-08 13:39:48
When you write, you write to yourself and friends. The others don't really matter much.
You are my friend, as I am yours.
GO FOR IT - - - whatever it is.
Cheers
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cat - 2005-06-09 12:57:59
Have you ever listened to Sarah McLachlan's song FUMBLINS TOWARD'S ECSTASY? There are lines very similar to what you've said in this entry; basically, "I won't deny what I feel," which is probably the most healthy attitude any human being can have. I'd also like to say, if any of the note I left previously stung or hurt, etc., I'm terribly, terribly sorry; my intention was not to pass judgement. I promise, from now on if a comment is not 100%, umistakeably supportive...I will stapple my fingers to my desk chair.
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cat - 2005-06-09 12:58:49
GRRRR!! Typos! *FUMBLING*
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Magpie - 2005-06-10 15:56:20
Women get enough pressure to be happy and pretty and nice and to hide the ooze and puke away from those who might find it offensive WITHOUT getting it in their blogs too! The oozy and puky is political. ;)
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