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1:25 a.m. - 2013-12-11
The I Amuse Myself Meme

I finally, finally watched 'The Way We Were'.........and simply do not understand why this is considered such a wonderfully romantic movie.

Hubbell Gardiner is an asshole. And a coward. Seriously, the guy is a jerk.

Sorry 'The Way We Were' fans, LA ain't buying it. And I'm a chick who adores the romance movies. Maybe if I'd seen it when I was younger. Before Mick. Back when I was in my "If I love him he HAS to be a hero" phase and like Katie I made a pot roast for and a paragon of any handsome schmuck who came my way. But now? Nuh uh. I'm not that girl anymore. I have zero interest in propping up some weak-willed shallow fool and being the uber-flattering mirror he admires himself in. At least Robert Redford's character has enough sack to know he's a hack and an arse-licker and does Katie the kindness of cutting her loose. I'll give him that much. But 'The Way We Were' as a cinematic romance for the ages? Not even close. At best it's a cautionary tale for women about how not to throw your life away inflating a douchebag into a Macy's balloon.

I could natter on about the snow but it's going to be a looooong winter. By my reckoning a sloppy, stormy, messy winter. The kind where the wearying endless chore of chopping, shoveling and scraping frozen slop off your driveway and your cars makes you seriously rethink your position on moving to Florida.

Instead I'll do a Sunday Stealing stolen from Mary the Clown.

1. What is something that you have lost recently?: My interest in the news. It's been growing slowly since the heartbreaking futility of the Bush years but this week I realized how big my disconnect and disinterest was. I didn't read a single news story about Nelson Mandela's memorial service. The shoot-out between Senators Gillibrand and McCaskill over protections and procedures for sexual assault victims in the military got a cursory glance and then a cynical "Yeah, that's a surprise" when any and all provisions to advance and protect the rights of sexual assault victims were stripped from the latest DOD authorization bill. I am so over thinking the average citizen can do anything to foment change for the better. I'm tired and simply don't care anymore. I did, however, spend a lot of time looking up chicken cutlet recipes.

2. Do you own any self-help books?: Does the Bible count? I own one of those. Oh, and I own a Pilates dvd. Not real big on the outside advice. I'm snotty that way.

3. Do you live near the sea or ocean?: I do not. As the crow flies I am at least 40 miles from the nearest salt water. This being where the Hudson dumps into New York Harbor. Where the river I love meets the Atlantic. However for recreational purposes we hop onto the Thruway, pick up the Garden State Parkway and haul our buns down to the Jersey Shore. From our driveway to Seaside it's 128 miles and well worth the trip.

4. Have you ever spent ages making/writing something on your computer when it suddenly crashed and you lost it all?: Ye gods, more times than I care to remember. Mostly power failures. *Knock wood* My machines are quite sturdy and rarely flake out of their own accord.

5. Do you enjoy food shopping?: I love food shopping! Often Mick and I make date of it. But going on my own is fun too. I'm crazy about my reusable shopping bags. I like the challenge of bargain shopping and meal planning. I like the serendipitous finds which add a whole new bent to the week's meals. Plus when I'm on my own I get to blast the music in the car. I putt-putt along in my elderly beater singing out loud and enjoying the short drive to Shoprite. During those few miles I pass through farmland, undeveloped woods, I slow down to see what's doing in a gorgeous wetlands, there's a Colonial era cemetery, and a truckstop when I get near the interstate. It's varied and it's pretty. The wetlands is home to a pair of swans and a beaver clan with an enormous lodge. I see deer and pheasant. Often I get to tip a friendly hello to the farm workers and in season stop and see what's on the table of the roadside farm stand. An unattended honor-code stand with prices listed on a white board and a coffee can with a slit in the lid to push your money into. A trust given and received. And damn the tomatoes are good.

6. What are you having for lunch?: Today? I had toast. With a huge mug of sweet milky tea. Builder's tea as it's known in the UK.

7. Are you one of those people who can sleep through anything?: Conditions must be just right for me to go to sleep- the right weight of covers, proper pillows, the TV tuned to a droning but mildly interesting science show or well-known movie, but once asleep only the shrilling of the telephone or the cry of a child will wake me. I've slept through storms, building noises, the neighbor's insane prisoner dog's incessant barking, and once even a train derailment across the street. When I'm out, I'm out.

8. Do you like love letters?: Gracious! Who doesn't?

9. Have you ever received or written one?: Mick and I are gross or wonderful depending on level of snarky cynicism. We exchange love notes and letters A LOT. I tuck them in his lunch. He leaves them for me on my desk. Emails. Sometimes something sent by snail mail just for the fun of it. We give each other soppy cards with tons of kisses written in Sharpie marker. We are all about the love notes.

10. How far does your nearest relative live?: Upstairs? I don't know where Alex lives. And I don't have anyone else who doesn't live here with me. I'm an orphan and my siblings and cousins gave me the heave-ho years and years ago. Trust me, when I die my funeral will be VERY lightly attended.

11. Do you like velvet?: Absolutely! My snuggly lap blanket I use here at my desk is velvet. Faux-velvet and the flipside is faux-shearling, but still. Velvet of any sort is wonderful.

12. What kind of art do you like?: Visual art is eclectic. Like my taste in music I'm pretty trite. I tend to like what's popular, fun, and easy. I like modern art quite a bit. All the blobs and splotches and sharp angles. But only if it doesn't take itself too seriously. None of that shit with three pea green squares on an otherwise blank canvas and it's supposed to be a representation of man's existential angst and primal wound. Yeah, yeah, bite me. Movies and books I'm a bit tougher of a critic. Doesn't have to be real but it does have to be true. Be honest. That's all. Be competent and true and you'll get my admiration and money.

13. If you went to London, where would you go first?: Piccadilly Circus, no question. It's London's Time's Square. I want to see the Sanyo and TDK neon. While I know that's not where the scene was shot I want to hop around the statue in the center going batshit shouting lines from 'An American Werewolf in London'. "Queen Elizabeth is a man!" "Prince Charles is a faggot!" "Winston Churchill was full of shit!" Just because.

14. If you had to pick one friend who is the most interesting, who would you pick?: Well, isn't this a lame ass question asked only to instigate fights? Suffice it to say that I don't waste my time and energy on boring people.

15. Can you think of the meanest thing you have ever done/said to someone?: On our very first date somewhere around the time we'd almost finished our entrees I warned Mick I had a razor tongue. When provoked my tongue is lethal. The same talent that makes me such a good salesperson and so much fun to talk with is what also gives me privy to your most vulnerable places. Within 15 minutes of meeting you I can say something so poisonous, so goddamn mean it'll lay you flat. Because it'll land squarely on your most private and ferociously guarded tender spot. I guarantee it. I can hurt you enough that you want to die. I'm not best pleased by this secret 'in' of mine. It's a power just begging to be used and abused. The knowledge that I could inflict so much hurt, the kind of pain that crawls inside your heart and just burns there for-freaking-ever, no, this is NOT a fun thing to have. At least not for me. We all know some people (*coff* not naming names) who groove on others' pain and would sell their souls to be as lethal with their words as I can be. But my #1 rule is the Golden one. And I don't dish what I don't want back. Even if it doesn't come back to me directly I take no joy in making anyone else feel like shit.

There were a couple more questions on this meme, but the hour is late and I'm tired now.


Good night, dear ones. Sweet dreams. ~LA


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