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Gift from Hil Part 2 - 2014-12-30
A Gift from Hil - 2014-12-28
There was A LOT of turkey. - 2014-12-04
Can we just jump to January please? - 2014-11-14
A (don't kick the) Bucket List - 2014-10-28

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3:05 p.m. - 2013-05-18
Didn't make a dent.

It's odd. I have as much to say as ever. My passion for ideas hasn't decreased a whit. What has gone away is the feeling that anyone else gives a warm crap what I have to say.

No, no, not friends checking in to see what's doing with me, I don't doubt that love and affection for a second. It's about how little the conclusions I've come to after harsh life lesson after harsher life lesson and the small wisdom gained therein simply doesn't matter. Took me fifty years to twig to the honest truth that even if you're of good heart and sincere intention what you know doesn't count for fuck all to anyone else.

This forum such as it is, is pretty much a bust. I haven't been able to help anyone else over the hard parts. Haven't managed to spare anybody one smidgen of pain and hardship by sharing the ugly hard truths of my own life.

Not a messiah complex, just simply the hope I could spare someone else a little time on the learning curve. Save somebody some grief. Some confusion and pain, maybe. Be a help, you know? Maybe with my own screw-ups out there for anyone to read, some good might come of it. Stop somebody from toddling off the same stupid cliffs of ignorance and misplaced trust that I had.

Wrong.

Hell, even posting my chili recipe didn't do anybody any good. Not even a goddamn dinner. I couldn't even help with dinner.

To paraphrase Cosmo Castorini... "One day you understand that your life is built on nothing, and that's a bad, crazy day."


Wishing it could have been different, ~LA

7 Wanna talk about it!

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