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1:52 a.m. - 2012-04-02
Why Girlfriend Time Is a Very Good Thing.

A comprehensive but by no means complete list of topics from Sunday's 7+ hour conversation with my best friend:

'To Kill A Mockingbird'

Teenaged boys and the overwhelming demands made by their penises.

Where to score cheap cigarettes.

Ex-husbands and the absurdity of.

Gas stoves.

Snoring.

Hair- lengths, styles, products, colors, the efficacy of round brushes.

Meatloaf recipes.

The mindboggling dissonance of Jewish political conservatives. (Right up there with Log Cabin Republicans.)

Feminism.

Asian influences in decorating.

Children.

The impossibility of housebreaking miniature Dachshunds.

Flab.

My Patty Duke identical cousin.

Facebook.

Being cosimically stoned in Times Square back in 1980 when it was still dangerous and seedy and watching Frank Zappa's 'Baby Snakes' on a closed circuit monitor and being opportuned by a multi-lingual bum who could speak fluent English, German, French and Italian. Only in New York, baby.

Daughters vs Sons.

Rubber ducks.

E-readers and the joy of reading actual print books.

The differences between school districts and their agendas.

Mick's firm belief in the superiority of women and this is why his preferred music is by the next generation riot grrrls like Pink, Katy Perry, Ke$ha, and Lady Gaga.

Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Pasta sauce.

Caribbean cruises, straw markets, and why being a dopey American and doing trite touristy stuff is FUN.

My new car and its cool electronics and posh comfy interior.

That how the beginning of the end of the decency of and hope for the future of the United States can be dated back to the election of Ronald Reagan.

Clown make-up.

Faux camisoles that snap around your bra straps aka: modesty panels.

'Bill and Ted's Excellent Adenture' and Dopey Keanu vs Mopey Keanu.

Stephen King.

Our disgust with gossip rags, the vilification of celebrities, and the curse of the 'Parent Trap' remake.

Broadway shows.

Mothers.

Climate change.

Coffee- straight up. No crap like banana hazelnut nutmeg flavorings and gross-o faux creamers.

Sleeping with the right amount of covers, the necessity of icy cold bedrooms, and how sticking a foot out from beneath the covers helps with midnight hot flashes.

Being forced to sit in the little chairs during parent-teacher conferences in grades K-4.

The lousiness of the chat function of Words With Friends and the overall superiority of Wordscraper.

Mortgages.

Retirement.

That my mother looked exactly like the Varga Girl 4th in from the right in the top row on the cover of the 'Sgt. Pepper' album and how for many years when I was a kid I believed it was my mother's picture.

Separate bedrooms.

Truman Capote.

Agreeing that hiring a professional cleaning service is a godsend.

The Berkshires.

Marriage counseling.

The plague wall of Marseille.

Computers.

How much mean people suck and why we refuse to devote any energy or time dealing with them anymore.

'Forrest Gump'.

Hypocrites.

Veterinary colleges.

Our delight in after too many years spent churning we finally have lives as smooth as butter.

Obama.

Diners.

George Carlin.

Low-volume toilets.

And why adopting, "Dude, do NOT harsh my buzz" as a motto and a lifestyle choice makes perfect sense.


What did you do yesterday? ~LA


6 Wanna talk about it!

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