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Can we just jump to January please? - 2014-11-14
A (don't kick the) Bucket List - 2014-10-28
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11:04 a.m. - 2011-09-13
Why am I not hungry?

Man, we are so tapped out right now that Friday's paycheck is glowing on the horizon like lotto winnings. Doesn't happen often, this budget crunch, but because Mick gets paid every two weeks rather than on a set schedule like twice a month on the 1st and 15th the actual date he gets paid shifts around and once in a while we hit a pay cycle when all the bills come due out of one paycheck. Doesn't leave a lot of wiggle room with the scant ducats we have left after paying everything. Good budgeting only goes so far, you know? This week is a no wiggle room week. Feels grubby. Not that there's anything really lacking, we'll eat and Mick has gas enough to get back and forth, this feeling of pinch-penny beggary is more psychological than actual. And it bothers Mick more than it bothers me. After decades of self-employment and working on commission the knowledge there will be guaranteed money (a known amount too!) coming in on such-n-such a day is quite comforting. I can wait. The odd pinchy week is a bit of a bummer but ultimately no biggie.

The only challenge for me this week is figuring out the menu using only what we already have on hand. Meat, especially beef, has become a problem for me. It just doesn't smell or taste right anymore. Last night I made London broil and after about five bites I had to leave the table. I had the same meat aversion when I was pregnant with Wolf. Unknown if this was so with Alex, we couldn't afford meat very often. But with Wolf even going grocery shopping was a misery. I used to take Alex with me so he could pick out the meat and carry it in an arm basket so I wouldn't have to look at or smell it while I shopped for everything else. Now I KNOW I'm not preggers, and besides this meat aversion has been coming and going for the last six months or so. Getting worse all the time though. Hitting harder, staying longer.

Heh. I can hear my veggie friends thinking, "Well damn, LA! Just give it up! You don't have to eat meat at all."

Good point. Except you try to figure out how to feed omnivores a vegetarian diet when: Wolf won't eat soy. No matter how tastily disguised Wolf can't deal with tofu. Mick won't eat any kind of legumes or any rice except sushi rice. No chickpeas, or red beans, or lentils. None of the staples of a meatless diet. And I detest cheese. I can deal with mozzarella and GBW's soft cheeses like chevre and fromage blanc, but anything aged or with a rind…ugh. Most cheeses smell like stinky feet bathed in vomit. At least to me they do. So this leaves what? Kale? Potatoes? Slim Fast? Can't see sitting my family down for a nice crunchy salad and a can of Ensure.

If it were just me I'd probably revert back to the model's diet of coffee and cigarettes with the occasional french fry. Sure you're always woozy and cranky and constipated, but several thousand well-paid scarecrows in nice clothes can't be wrong. (*snort*)

More food. Mick and I were watching TV the other night and most of the ads were from chain restaurants. I started joshing about how I wanted to go to a place with giant food. Like T.G.I.Friday's on steroids. Someplace where the appetizers have 15,000 calories and the mixed drinks come in buckets. Where the burgers are the size of hubcaps and the nachos are so mountainous they come with a sherpa. I wanted to sit in an oversized booth with my chin resting on the table. He had to take me to the kind of joint where the knives are machetes and you can pitch hay with the forks. Right now! I had to go immediately.

Right now? Mick asked. Yup. Right now. Mick nods and gets up out of the bed and goes across the hall to his den. He comes back wearing his mandals, he's got the keys in his hand, and he says, "Okay, let's go." And then just stands there with this patient expression while I shrieked with laughter.

Except for the shoes he was still naked.

When I could speak again I asked where his wallet was and he assured me he had it with him. Which set me off again. There's only one place a naked man can stow a wallet. Mick's deadpan patience was funny, but funnier to me was knowing this servitude wasn't too far off from the truth. Mick truly will do anything to make me happy. Anything. Yes, even going to Outback at midnight stark naked with a wallet in his ass.


Like Jessica Rabbit, I love a man who adores me and makes me laugh. ~LA

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