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1:19 p.m. - 2011-07-13
Lawn Mowing and Tea Bagging

Right now I'm waiting on the arrival of the yard kid. I am dead grateful for him. Mick is 52 years old. Our property is full of trees and as steep as an alp. I do NOT want my man out there trying to mow it. Yes, Mick is an athlete. Yes, his blood pressure, cholesterol, and all other numbers are enviably low. Too bad. I will not allow my guy to mow grass or snow shovel anymore. I gladly give up dinners out, trinkets, and weekly movie dates to have the money to give to the yard kid instead. What would those things mean to me if my husband had a stroke or a heart attack tending our yard? No, no, no. Dramatic as it sounds, I'll go without food first before I'd risk losing my Mick to something as dumb as a tidy lawn.

So. I pay the yard kid well and fuss over him with cold drinks and even a meal if he wants it, anything so long as he comes and does the yard work so Mick won't have to do it. Because he will. Mick, I mean. He'd go out there in the terrible heat and damn near kill himself to have the place looking right.

Sure, if we had a tree-less golf course lawn with gently curved fairways and zero precipices and he could use a riding mower I'd let Tidy Mick get his jollies, but we don't. The ground slope is nearly vertical and the 'lawn' beneath our many, many trees is mostly clover and crabgrass, but this doesn't stop my doofy husband. Better I should hire a strong back and young legs to push our Honda and barber our (heh) lawn.

Just another area where my guy and I differ. LA the Hippy would be just dandy with letting the place go wild. Seed the whole damn yard with wildflowers and nevermind trying to cultivate grass. Looking at tufty clumps of buttercups and Queen Anne's Lace and Black-Eyed Susans would do me fine.

Mick? Oy, my dear man. Always the first the kvetch and grump about sheeple and their endless mindless conformity, yet the first to mow, clip, drive, and wear the most impeccably 'normal' and 'standard' stuff possible. Mick aches to be a non-conformist. Aches. Despises the ideal of groupthink and the relinquishing of autonomy for societal approval, yet he's the first one to enforce it when he sees someone else break 'the rules'.

Talk about inner conflict! Holy crap. I think my guy patented the process. When what you claim to espouse is in direct opposition to how you behave…ow. That's gotta hurt.

Like the horrible pain so many go through to have the necessary suspension of logic and reason to follow the literal writ of a holy book. Or join the GOP. The psychological trauma of sundering truth from dogma must be brutal. No wonder Tea Baggers are so pissed off. Imagine deliberately working against your own best interests! Giving money and time and shrieking voice to that which is actively trying to kill you and yet praising it as Good and the ONLY Way! Man, if I had to murder my conscience and reason on a daily basis like those poor delusional saps do I'd be cranky too.

Fortunately I don't have to squash and strangle huge whacking hunks of my soul and brain to be part of my gang. Don't have to give the heave-ho to blatant reality to fervently embrace an alternate reality of lies. A reality which is not only false, but one that works incessantly to undermine and pervert my way of life! Keeping me in line by instilling fear of knowledge, of autonomy and of unity, and offering the chummy (top-mind) satisfying sop of being the persecuted 'righteous'. Boy oh boy, do people luuuurve being 'victims'. And if the price of righteous victimhood is sacrificing compassion, reason, logic, and love? Oh well. They get to be 'right'.

They get to be 'right' even when put in the street by the very economic and political policies they demanded to have. They get to be 'right' when they die an unnecessary and preventable death from lack of health care. Those Tea Baggy/Family Values persecuted victims get to be 'right' as our befouled environment gives them cancer, stunts their kids and makes life out of doors damn near impossible.

I hope their 'righteousness' brings them comfort. I truly hope it's worth the trade-off. Because like all drowning people they're taking everyone down with them. And as much as I despise them, at least somebody should get something from this mess. It sure ain't going to be justice, liberty, morality or learning, not when the media and the politicians keep giving time and power to those self-defeating smug ignorant bobos.


Desperately wishing Mr Smith would go back to Washington, ~LA

4 Wanna talk about it!

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