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My Profile
She blinded him with whiteness - 2008-07-25
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4:49 a.m. - 2008-04-23
I am going to try very hard to update more often. There's a few things working against this. 1. I subscribed to Game Splash's super saver club and now have boodles of cheap download games to distract me. I start with the games and I'm pretty much gone for at least 3 hours at a go. 2. I now have a life partner who actually gives a shit about how my day went and is very interested in talking with me about everything under the sun. Not that blogging and having someone in 3-D is an either/or situation, but I'm still not over the novelty of having someone who likes me living in my very own house. A lot of my thoughts and words go Mick's way when formerly I had to launch them in a cyber bottle and hope like hell someone would find them. 3. I have really really boring hair right now. When my hair is bad it usually means a creative nadir. Chicken or egg, with me boring hair means I'm feeling dull and witless and have zero sparkle. When LA has no sparkle LA has few words. I've gone so far as to seriously consider mowing it to the scalp like Yvonne does, but there's a few mitigating factors. Mick would plotz. My son's wedding is in 4 weeks and he hates me enough as it is, showing up with a Telly Savalas skin job would ensure I'd never meet my grandchildren. Mostly though it's because I've gotten too fat. I shave my head and I'd look like this: It might be hip to be a square, but being nothing but round sucks. 4. Which brings me to the thing that's really clogging me up. I feel like now that my biggest life's wish came true I'm no longer entitled to have a bad day. The few times I've mentioned life being less than 100% wonderful I've been smacked for being ungrateful and churlish. "Well Jesus, LA! You got rid of Mike, you've got Mick, and you're still whining? There's no making you happy, is there?" I am happy, however even happy people get the blues, have troubles large and small, need to vent, and sometimes feel compelled to mull over some of life's weightier issues. And this is where the cheese binds. I feel stifled by perceived ingratitude. Am I forever obligated to be a sunny, sunny princess just because Charming showed up? It feels that way and I'm really starting to loathe it.
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