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My Profile
She blinded him with whiteness - 2008-07-25
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10:46 p.m. - 2008-04-16
I left the house today, a rare enough occasion to comment on. A couple errands and the first picnic lunch of the season with Mick. No big, but just about every driving mishap short of totaling the car happened while I was on the road. Thus an adventure was made. Not long after leaving the driveway and turning onto the main road I got caught behind and had to follow a huge farm tractor towing a trailer for about the next 6 miles. The tractor was making good time for a tractor, too good as the trailer behind it swayed and jerked around in a worrisome way. Add the huge clods of muddy manure flying off the wheels and we have a Green Acres Goes to Hell kind of thing. A deer jumped in front of me in broad daylight. She raced straight across the road, but as I was doing 45mph and not expecting a deer to come charging out from the Kawasaki dealer's parking lot in the middle of the morning it was a bit of a nerve wracking surprise. I had to pull off onto the shoulder for emergency vehicles to pass twice. There was a cop shooting radar from a sneaky hiding place along a stretch of road that's marked 30mph, but only I, Law Abiding Girl, ever does this absurdly low speed limit. I certainly think the driver of the Honda SUV who was up my ass and making "Come on! Come on!" faces at me in my rearview owes me a thank you note as I probably saved her a hefty speeding ticket fine. After several more near misses and deftly avoiding the funeral procession sedately making its way down Malltown's main drag (cut down a side street and jammed through a thankfully long yellow stoplight) I finally get to Uber Sports School and was stopped dead by a big herd of intermediate school students moseying their way across the campus's driveway/road from the track near the high school back toward their end of the school grounds. The gym teachers accompanying the horde were leaning against a stack of hurdles and were letting the kids cross alone while they gossiped and compared whistles or something. Finally one of the gym mistresses notices me sitting there waiting for the students to pass (looking for all the world like drunken ducks who'd been partying at the Peabody) and came up from the track to shoo the stragglers across the crosswalk to let me get by. Is it any wonder why I prefer to stay home? I was discussing my homebody tendencies with Miss Steph this morning and we laughed together over my creepy but true assertion should I ever become agoraphobic that Mick would be the perfect enabler. To wit: today's errands were at my insistence, otherwise Mick would have added them to the rounds he made yesterday on his way home from work. Mick would happily do all of the shopping and the post office runs and the dropping off and picking up things if I asked him to. He'd be glad to be able to spare me the necessity of ever going out. This is a far cry from the ex who seemed to confuse 'wife' with 'concierge' and considered my main function to be his gofer and supplier of all things sundry. It never occurred to Mike that maybe trekking over to the scuzzy part of Malltown, cramming 900' of ductwork into the jeep and schlepping it all up to some far-flung job site was anything less than my bound duty and a complete joy on my part. Mick? Mick is quite happy to keep me supplied with booze, smokes and tampons if it means it saves me the bother of going out for them myself. I tell you what, after today's absurdities I am absolutely rethinking whether I need to do all this errand running and might just let my man do all the legwork. Hey, at least I'd never have to strap on my damn bra.
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