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She blinded him with whiteness - 2008-07-25
Where'd I go? I was here a minute ago. - 2008-07-23
The Dented and the Demented - 2008-07-22
Mazdas and Mothers in Law - 2008-07-21
Serpent Girl - 2008-07-18

9:33 a.m. - 2008-04-04
A meme for a rainy morning.

Lifted this from Mary. Who got it from Jenn. Who begat it originally I do not know.

If I were…

If I were a direction I'd be…the path of least resistance.
If I were furniture I’d be … overstuffed.
If I were a liquid I’d be … Formula 409.
If I were a sin I’d be … unsurprised, I'm shocked I'm not one already.
If I were a gem/stone I’d be … green amber.
If I were a metal I’d be …titanium, deceptively strong and full of rainbows.
If I were a tree I’d be … a redwood.
If I were a fruit I’d be … made into jam.
If I were a flower I’d be … a pollinated apple blossom.
If I were weather I’d be … the eye of a hurricane.
If I were a musical instrument I’d be … out of tune.
If I were an element I’d be …carbon.
If I were a colour I’d be …cobalt blue.
If I were an animal I’d be … pooping in a litter box.
If I were a sound I’d be … a whistling tea kettle.
If I were a lyric I’d be … a double dactyl with an ABAB rhyme scheme.
If I were a song I’d be …parodied by Weird Al .
If I were a music type I’d be … Top 40 bubblegum.
If I were a perfume/cologne I’d be … sold at fine drug stores everywhere.
If I were a feeling I’d be … contentment.
If I were a book I’d be … The Good Earth.
If I were food I’d be … pb&j with the crusts cut off.
If I were a city I’d be … Lodi, NJ.
If I were a taste I’d be … chocolate dipped french fries.
If I were a scent I’d be … line-dried bed sheets.
If I were a word I’d be … polysyllabic and somewhat obscure.
If I were a verb I’d be …maddening to conjugate .
If I were an object I’d be … still married to Mike. Had enough of that, thanks.
If I were a piece of clothing I’d be … a fluffy robe with deep pockets.
If I were a body part I’d be …a tongue .
If I were a facial expression I’d be … skeptical.
If I were a cartoon character I’d be … Touché Turtle.
If I were a movie I’d be … in cinemascope with surround sound.
If I were a geometrical figure I’d be … a helix.
If I were one of the four seasons I’d be …wishing I could be a Pip or a Supreme instead.
If I were a sentence I’d be …3 to 5 with time off for good behavior.

If I were a meme I'd be…over now. ~LA

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