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My Profile
She blinded him with whiteness - 2008-07-25
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4:35 p.m. - 2008-02-22
Diane's latest entry really hit home for me. I speak so much about what Mick does for me, how good I feel and how allowed I am to be my whole self, but a big part of my happiness is seeing Mick be who he was always meant to be too. I hope I can explain that properly, I am all full of profound thoughts too big to put into words today. Like me, Mick spent a long time with people who resented his true self. They had an idea of who he was supposed to be and anything that didn't fit that was viewed with suspicion and beaten down. Like me, Mick motives were seen as suspect and he was never taken at face value. Forever accused of having secret agendas and any good things he did were some kind of sneaky manipulation toward an evil end. Unlike me though, who's always trying to be nice and never quite making it (eventually I am discovered to be Not As Nice As Advertised and am abruptly abandoned), Mick's life left him feeling like being nice was to lose. Every interaction was a battle to make the other guy concede Mick's worth. If he gave an inch Mick felt walked on. A bizarre pugnacity I understood in theory but found far too wearying to practice, Mick's chin out approach and do or die feelings about every single encounter be it with a deli clerk or his boss as something he HAD to win is one of those things he's happily put on the trash heap. Mick's said one of the best things I've given him is perspective. For the first time he understands what truly matters and is way happier for it. Nowadays his job is just a job. A jerk in traffic is just a jerk and not someone who left his house that morning bent on ruining Mick's day. There's a balance to his life he didn't have before and that pissed off 'Everything means everything' outrage at the world and its iniquities is gone. More important still is how Mick sees himself as a winner no matter what kind of crappy day he has. Mick is more than okay with himself because when he gets home I'm always delighted to see him. Mick's said he feels like he's won every morning when he wakes up and I'm there in the bed next to him. Awwww…. The weather forecast was dead on, we are buried in snow. Fluffy powder this time and not that ice choked dead heavy mess we got last storm. This stuff is easy to shovel, but lousy for sledding. Wolf's disappointed, but Mick who is the Shovel-Meister is delighted. Said he could skip the shovel and just use a push broom if it weren't so deep. That's it for today. Can't seem to get a handle on all the big thoughts and concepts swirling around in there so better I should shut up until clarity comes a' calling.
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