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My Profile
She blinded him with whiteness - 2008-07-25
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2:38 p.m. - 2008-02-07
Accompanied Mick to the doctor yesterday. No big, he was getting his annual blood work done. His sugar runs on the high side of normal and his thyroid meds needed a refill. I had a good giggle when he got on the scale, seems Mick has gained exactly as much weight as I have. Sits differently on him, of course, the man is still a rock albeit a larger rock with a tummy. My honey bunny didn't like the scale's news one bit. He hunkered down on the exam table and frowned. Finally he burst out with, "This sucks! You're the best cook in the world! So not fair! It's a good thing I can start bike riding again next month." I wasn't surprised he wanted me to go to the doc's, I was surprised he wanted me to come into the exam room with him. I figured I'd be sitting in the waiting room working on his afghan. I'd brought it along just for that reason. Mick had something else in mind, obviously. Firstly he wanted me to meet his doctor, Mick's been with the same GP for some years now and likes him a lot. Secondly my guy's at the age where he needs a regular prostate check and a baseline colonoscopy. Neither procedure was on the docket for yesterday (thank goodness, there's just some things I don't need to know about the man) but he wanted me there so he couldn't weasel out of setting the appointments for them. Mick plans on being here with me for as long as possible and if that means slightly gross and humiliating, but vital examinations then he'll do them, especially if I'm right there to remind him why he's volunteering to have a camera up his butt. When the dreaded appointments were made I kissed him and said he was a hero. And I nicely held back my relieved smirk that my 50th birthday and date with the butt camera was still a loooong way off. I did remind him that soon as I have health insurance my first stop is the tit smusher. A mammogram might not be as invasive as a prostate check, but it took a whole lot longer and way more of my personal real estate was being manhandled. (Or woman-handled as the case may be. Not a chance I'd agree to a male mammographer.) That might be all the skinny on the middle-aged residents but… I wasn't wrong about Wolf's absurd growth spurt being adolescent, over the last week my child has morphed into a surly butthead with all the charm of a cobra with hangover. Yup, we've got it all. The exasperated eye rolling. The snarky remarks muttered as he walks away and thus cannot be accused of face-to-face rudeness. Monosyllabic answers to ridiculous none-of-my-business questions like: "How was you day?" and "Are you hungry?" Hair combed with an eggbeater, but endless fussing to get his sneaker laces 'just right'. Wolf is plugged into some kind of electronic gadget during all waking hours. Scatological 'humor' is constant and produces fits of hysterical laughter. Most telling of all, the chalkboard on his bedroom door now reads: 'I'm BUSY! Do Not Disturb'. I don't care what the calendar and his birth certificate say, I am now the proud owner of a …(whimper)…teenager. Pray for us. Much love, ~LA
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