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Diary Rings

Can we just jump to January please? - 2014-11-14
A (don't kick the) Bucket List - 2014-10-28
Put THIS in your pipe and DON'T smoke it! - 2014-10-23
Max, Wolf, and the goats - 2014-10-15
Maloney for Congress - 2014-10-08

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7:25 p.m. - 2007-03-30
Starts with The Weather Girls and ends with Meatloaf.

The torrent continues unabated. Guess it's true that old adage about only getting what you want when you don't want it anymore.

Not that I don't want my men, I do. But not in the way I used to want a man. All that 'love me, hold me, never let me go' jazz. Feh. I've really gotten to the point of, "Whatever, dude. There's plenty more where you came from." Today Steph and I were howling on the phone. Shrieking with glee about this crazy full dance card of mine and how I'm sifting and sorting until I have the perfect combo. The exact right man-harem. Somewhere during our chat Steph suggested that I will eventually find the all-purpose guy and that shit cracked me up all over again.

One guy? For everything? What the hell for? Um, no. The very idea is absurd. Been there. Done that. It totally sucked. Worse than sucked, it nearly destroyed me. My guys know the score and so far they're cool with it. They are more than cool with it, they are delighted. Not on the hook to be 'there' all the time? Absolute clear definition of what's expected of him? No ugly surprises? No drama? Baby, you have just won the relationship lotto.

Let's see, incredible babe who is fun, warm, smart and stupefyingly sexy tells you exactly what's on her mind and what she wants from you right from the get-go. You have a fabulous time and always know where you stand, and you're going to fuss because you're not the only dog in the yard? I don't think so. And if he is going to be like that then he gets the chuck anyhow, because I am not going to put up with any bullshit.

Told you, my way or the highway.

The further into this I get the more sense it makes and the more fun I have. Wish I'd figured it out years ago. Would have saved me no end of grief. But the past can't be undone and there's no sense being unhappy about it. Better to go forward.

It's not cold and impersonal. C'mon, you guys know me, think I could purposely do anyone a damage? Except for Dish who likes to hear about my other dates, I don't rub anybody's nose in anything. Nor would I take up with someone I didn't have genuine affection for. But I will have what I want. And will keep sifting until I've panned those delightful just right nuggets and made them mine.

I'm doing good so far.

My dear Dish, my sweetie. He'll never be on Quiz Bowl, but he is totally down with our deal. Occasionally he needs to hear he's not just a toy, which he is not- he also makes an excellent foot rest. (I kid.) We sometimes talk about his ambitions and such. He occasionally asks about my work. But mostly we just enjoy each other's beauty and go at it like rabbits. I think every woman needs a Dish. So good for the complexion. Even better than crone-defying moisturizer.

Red, hmmn. Hard to accurately define what's doing with Red. Our conversations and emails swing from the deeply personal to busting chops and back again. His talent speaks to mine and makes a bond where by rights there shouldn't be one. He knows this too. Yet all I have to do is think at him and he hops to it. He is totally tuned to Radio LA. And that is some nifty shit. However there is the matter of his being about as undishy as a guy can get without stares and pointing fingers, yet when he kissed me…POW! In discussing this weird phenomena with Steph she asked me if I'd ever kissed another witch before. Uh, no. Not like that. So maybe that's it. Intriguing possibilities all around there, eh?

Mick. Fooled me big time that one. Nailed it in a single date. Mick wants to be my paladin, my dragon slayer. Sappy, no? However, when I gave him the outline of the deal he said the magic words. "You make the rules, LA. It goes how you say it goes." Oh baby. Darlin', for that kind of dedication I'm sure I can scare up a dragon or two.

As for the rest of the rascals, I'm rooting for Paperboy Roy. What with the midwestern naiveté, the puppyish enthusiasm and the stunning beauty…uf dah. But he, like the others in my crew, will have to understand and accept the rules. But most of all understand the one reality which will never ever change…

"I want you. I need you.
But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you.
Now don't be sad,
'Cause two out of three ain't bad."


Yours about to cocktail and keg, ~LA


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