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My Profile
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone... - 2009-11-05
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2:24 p.m. - 2006-09-25
Okay. Almost 25,000 words later my work has become a grim chore. Time for fun. Only a weirdo like me would take a break from writing by doing a long ass meme, but there it is. There is no sleep in me again and I have had NO coffee and got up at 8:00am. So you tell me where the Sandman is. I did my part. * Eventually the Sandman found me and the rest of this meme is being done now- the following day. Lifted from one of the saints whose unwavering support and faith kept me going through some ugly times and helped me get here to this lovely (if sleep deprived) now, Darling Mary. Do you hate more than 3 people? Oddly enough, in my personal life, no. In the larger sphere of politics and such, the list is longer than this meme. My loathing for George Bush is so intense that even his picture will make my eyeballs pulse and my gorge rise. Seriously, my reaction is that violent. What is your favorite candy bar? These. Holy crow. If only my sex life were half as good as this candy bar. If they made the raspberry with dark chocolate too I would weigh 400lbs. What are your favorite shoes? My favorite shoes are boots. I'm having a 'thing' with boots again now that the weather has turned. I still need a pair of engineer boots. Engineer boots with a decent heel. It's become a quest. Have you ever tripped someone? No, but I did almost blind someone with my hair. I was making the transition from prep to punk but hadn't gotten the nerve to cut off my waist-length hair yet. That night I'd put it up in a high ponytail and then divided the ponytail into about 18 skinny braids. Each braid tipped with its own chunky wooden bead. Shut up, it was 1982, for Pete's sake. So me and my 50lb hair are getting funky on the dance floor and I whip my head around. WHAM! Cat o' 18 Tails right across the face of the guy behind me. The poor shmoe was driven to his knees. Do you own a Britney Spears CD? No. I am, however, picking up Justin Timberlake's new cd tomorrow. I adore that Sexy Back song! Have you ever thrown up in public? Welcome to my world. MS cures you right quick of any false pride and dignity. I once yarked all over the melons in the produce section at Shoprite. Hurling is a way of life. What is your favorite music genre? If pressed I'd say classic rock, but my essential playlist has everything from gospel to highland reels on it. What is your sign? Dangerous Curves Ahead. *snerk* Okay, I was born literally at the dawn of the Age of Aquarius. 1963. Neatly split on the cusp between Capricorn and Aquarius and conflicted as hell. What time were you born? 12:17am. When she went into labor on the 19th my mother called my grandmother to set things up with the printer for the birth announcements. Thus they were pre-dated for the 20th. My mother insisted I hung in until the 21st just to be a pain in the ass, thus setting a standard I would live up to for the rest of my life. Do you like beer? I luuuurve beer. I even like watery nasty American lite beer. But I don't drink beer very often. A couple at a club if I'm not driving, but I never buy it to drink at home. Have you ever made a prank call? A couple times we called boys we liked and hung up. Back in the day before caller ID and *69 and you could get away with it. What is the most embarrassing CD you own? Hey, I bought a best of Barry Manilow cd the other day. I have no problem with my low-brow cheesy musical tastes, I know I'm a dork. Can't shame someone who doesn't care. Are you sarcastic? On the whole, not really. In my writing I'll admit to some snark and irony, but in person there's much better ways of getting a laugh and making a point than skewering someone. What are your favorite colors? For clothes: black or white. For eyes: green. For cars: silver. For houses: white with zingy trim. For just about everything else: cobalt blue. How many watches do you own? One. It lives here by my computer for keeping track of the time when I'm working full-screen and can't see my task tray icons. Summer or winter? Winter, winter, a 1,000 times winter. I detest the heat. Spring or fall? Fall. It's my new year. The time I feel most alive. What is your favorite color to wear? See above. Though I do look great in dark green. Pepsi or Sprite? Neither are #1 with me. Of the two, Sprite. What color is your cell phone? N/A at the moment. This will be remedied this week. It was supposed to today, but we are feeling poorly. Have you ever slapped someone? Only when I challenge them to a duel. Have you ever had a cavity? 4. I have 4 fillings and despite assurances from my dentist that I take excellent care of my teeth I feel diseased and slobbish. Neither of my kids has ever had a cavity though. Go Mom and Crest! How many lamps are in your bedroom? 3, including the ceiling fixture. I don't spend much time in my room except to sleep so it's rather spartan and utilitarian in there. How many video games do you own? I own all The Sims stuff- original and Sims2 including all the expansion packs except Open For Business. What was your first pet? A spotted mutt named Snoopy who we mostly called 'Ya-poons' (which is Snoopy backwards). Why she liked being called Ya-poons is a mystery, but she did. Have you ever had braces? Nope. But at his last dental check-up the doc laid the hard word on me and said it was getting on time to start Wolf's orthodontia. I explained about the divorce and he quickly reassured me there's no harm in waiting a year or two. Eventually Wolf will sport a tin grin. As his brother did before him. Do looks matter? Of course looks matter. How we look plays a huge role in how our lives spool out. Tall people earn more money over their careers. Blonde people (male and female) get the fewest traffic tickets. Black women get the least attentive medical care. It just goes on and on. Is it fair? No. Is that reality? You betcha. The best we can do is try to offer each of the people who come into our lives the same respect and attention despite color, weight, height and sticky-out ears. Do you use Chapstick? No, I just carry a plumber's candle in my purse. It works just about as well. Nasty waxy icky Chapstick. Name 3 teachers from your high school: Coach Greene- fired and did time for feeling up a student (girl). Mr Seaman- fired, did probation for messing with a student (boy). Crazy Mrs Pavek- had her many children paint their house one summer and when the leaves fell off the trees that fall the silhouettes of the trees were perfectly outlined. The kids had painted around them. American Eagle or Abercrombie? American Eagle brand condensed milk is the best! Are you too forgiving? Bwahahahaha! I follow Cosmo Castorini's philosophy: 'Everything is temporary! That don't excuse nuthin!' Do you own something from Hot Topic? Sure. I have a couple hoodies and some punky accessories from Hot Topic. This is also where I get Wolf's Ramones t-shirts. Do you own a gun? Ye gods, what for? I don't hunt. When was the last time you cried? Oh wow. I just realized it's been at least a week! Whoo hoo! What did you do 3 nights ago? Last Friday night has already been thoroughly discussed. When was the last time you went to Olive Garden? Gads, I wrote a scathing (and pretty funny) entry about my last trip to Olive Garden but can't find it in my archive at the moment. Let's just say the experience was underwhelming. Have you ever called your teacher mom? Huh? No. But I did have a teacher ask me out once. He thought I was the sister who'd already graduated and was horrified he'd hit on a student. I was fine. No prob. A mix-up like that could happen to anybody, there were 4 of us and while we didn't look like each other it was still difficult to keep track of who was who because we were so close in age. And for the record I didn't take him up on the offer later on when I was of legal age and safely graduated. Have you ever been in a castle? This is America, sweetheart. We don't have real castles here. I have toured some of the fake castles along the Hudson. The ones built by the robber barons of the Industrial Revolution. My awe and delight over their beauty was tempered by my ardent union sympathies and knowledge of what those castles meant to the working men, women and children whose sweat (and frequent deaths) paid for them. What are your nicknames? Let's see, there's 'that bitch, LA'. (Probably the most frequent.) Mike still calls me, 'Hon'. Can't break him of it. And my most persistent and ardent puppy calls me, 'Baby' which is freaking hilarious considering the situation. Do you know anyone named Bertha? No, but I know a bucket load of Marthas. Martha? Maybe it's the overwhelming amount of 'George Washington took a whiz here' type stuff in this area. It's all colonial all the time here in Revolutionary War country. Come to think of it, I know a bunch of Dollys too. And Ethans, Nathans and Joshuas. The past is ever with us. Have you ever been to Hawaii? Never. I have never left the North American mainland. Long Island so does not count as leaving the mainland. Between the tunnels and bridges Long Island is practically sewn onto the rest of NY state. Do you own something from Banana Republic? No. I stick with GAP Corp's low-rent divisions: Hot Topic and Old Navy. Are you happy with your life right now? I am astonished and grateful I'm so happy right now. I've never felt like this before. And the best thing is I know I'm barely over the starting line. There's so much to see and do and learn and I just feel so able for it. Crappy bod and all. This life without can't and mustn't and all the rest of the evil negative junk is so peaceful, yet exciting. More dichotomy, I feel both unbound and together. Perhaps the ties holding me down were also pulling me apart. When I cut them I snapped together, not longer being pulled apart by outside forces. Does anyone like you? I am abundantly blessed with friends! Another wonderful thing about this time, my friends don't have to pass Mike muster anymore. In his own way Mike is more of snob than I am. He's a 'real' work snob. Always something nasty to say about my less anchored friends. And the usual punishments doled for daring to hang out with them anyway. This is my house and I will entertain who I please. Maybe it's time I started a coven. Have a Wednesday Witch-n-Bitch. What were you doing May of 1994? Oooo! 31. Until now it was the best year of my life. In May I probably went to at least one product seminar/sales training dealie at regional headquarters. As the lone female in the shark pool it was a day devoted to busting chops and forming evil inter-dealership alliances under the radar of the bossmen. McDonald's or Wendy's? Dave Thomas is my hero. I miss the tables with the old catalog and newspaper advertisements on them. Do you like yourself? I am my A #1 fan. Favorite feature of the opposite sex? Uh, duh. The parts that make them the opposite sex ring any bells? Are you afraid of the dark? Only when Wolf's been playing with his legos. Have you ever eaten paste? No, but I have huffed rubber cement. Do you have a webcam? God, no. Like I'd want anyone to see what I look like when I'm farting around online. And I am so not ever adding another thing I have to make-up and dress for. Writers wear pajamas all day. That's one of the perks. Have you ever stripped? Several pieces of furniture, the wainscoting on the stairs, all the floors in the Hobbit House and a short fling on the amateur circuit during college. The money was good, but the whole thing was phony and icky and not appealing. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? I am such a mom! How To Eat Fried Worms. Sheesh. What are your favorite TV shows? None currently. I mostly make the rounds of how-to shows and history/science stuff if I don't feel like a movie. What did you have for breakfast? Raspberry leaf tea, St John's wort, a sinus pill and my vitamins. What is your middle name? Deep dark secret. If I told you I'd have to kill you. What foods do you dislike? With me it's texture and smell. No slimy stuff. Nothing that smells like feet or barf (most cheeses). Don't glop stuff up with a ton of sauces or gravy either. What is your favorite CD at the moment? I had to replace my lost copy of American Idiot so I'm having a flashback affair with it. Hasn't even made it in from the car yet. Favorite sandwich? Ham and bologna with lettuce, brown mustard and Catalina dressing on a poppy seed soft roll. With wavy potato chips on the side. And a pickle. Or corned beef on seedless rye with brown mustard and thousand island dressing. Ditto chips and pickle. What are your favorite clothes? Jeans. Jeans. Jeans. I find it incredible there was a 5 year stretch when I didn't even own a pair of jeans. Really. I wore skirts exclusively. Now I live in jeans. See above about perks of the writing career. What color is your bathroom? My bathroom is brown and beige. The upstairs bath is/will be black, white and grey. Favorite brand of clothing? Armani and Old Navy. I told you there's no half measures with me. Couture or crap. Where would you want to retire to? Maybe further upstate. Might have to move over the border into Vermont to escape being extradited to Florida at age 70. It's mandatory here in NY, you know. Favorite time of day? Morning pages right after putting Wolf on the bus. What did you want to be when you were little? Wanted and loved. What is your best childhood memory? There's a jumbled montage of doing goofy stuff with Lisa and Laura. Good times were had. Eye Color? A clear solid green, but not startling. Except when I'm crying or ticked off. Then they go electric. Ever been toilet papering? No. My delinquentry is more of the eggs and spray paint variety. Favorite day of the week? Monday. I like the return to privacy and weekday quiet. After the kids and neighbors leave I'm the only person around for blocks. Soooo peaceful. So has this been. Just hanging out doing a meme. I needed that. Thanks, Mary.
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