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My Profile
Retro-retrospection - 2008-10-06
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9:01 p.m. - 2005-08-08
Here we go! It's another Random Stuff entry! Tick killed and ate a bird today. I know that's what cats do, but I had a relationship with this particular bird. My nasty cat took simply gross behavior and turned it into cold blooded murder. I'd heard the soon-to-be-murdered bird from inside my office. At first I thought the ceiling fan had gone off-balance and that's what was making the weird chirp. The timing of the "reeep reeeep" noise seemed to sync with the fan. Upon further investigation the fan was ruled out. Then it took me two trips outside to find the real cause. It was a wee birdie who'd been making the chirp. The teeny thing was on the doormat! The door bottom had passed right over it. I saw it on my way back in the second time. Hardly bigger than a ping-pong ball. It just sat there reeep-ing. The bird was mostly fledged, but had some down left. I didn't think it could fly, especially since it didn't move when I bent down to look at it. Mike is a shit with human beings, but there's nobody better when it comes to caring for the wee beasties. I figured I'd put the bird in a box and let Mike take care of it. No boxes handy I grabbed a big plastic bowl and went back out to coax the bird into it. I shooed it in (didn't want to handle it too much) and stood up. The bird let out a very loud "REEEEEP!!!", made a poop, and flew off. Didn't fly far, but it didn't seem like it needed any help from me. HA! I took the beshitted bowl back inside. Came out yet again, this time to pick the day's tomatoes and that's when I saw Tick with the bird in his mouth. My little friend! I chased after Tick, but he was having none of it. Refused to spit the bird out. I heard a crunch and knew it didn't matter now. Sigh…sometimes I hate cats. My disordered eating is about bingeing, purging and starving, never been into laxatives. The idea of giving myself the runs on purpose squicks me out. However I noticed the other day that I've been eating A LOT of Frosted Mini-wheats (and not much else, to be totally honest). Mini-wheats have a rather potent scouring effect. At least on me they do. That I'd recently ramped up my diet again lends an unsavory tinge to my 'unconscious' choice of a steady diet of sugar coated Brillo pads for the colon, eh? Whoo hoo. Now I can check off another item on the How Fucked Up Am I? chart! Sigh…sometimes I hate self-discovery. Alex told me all of his friends agree that I'm the mom to have. Even Avi said that. Which surprised me. See, last time Avi was here at the house I overheard him having a conversation in the bathroom. I knew he was alone. When he came out I twitted him and said all imaginary friends must be introduced to me before they're allowed to hang out in my john. He startled, blushed and then said he'd been on the phone. He got a little grumpy when I nodded sarcastically like, "Suuure. You were on the phone, uh huh." Avi the tech whiz has no patience for mere analog mortals and their silly jocularity. But Avi added his "Yup" to the online poll Alex and his buddies were taking amongst themselves. I was THE Mom in a unanimous ballot. How about that? I'm a Kool-Ade Mom with the college set! Actually, it's easier to be a fun mom with the grown kids. I never hit the right note with teenagers. Grade schoolers think I'm a hoot, but I always suspect the teens of thinking me a total lame-o. This makes me self-conscious. So then I probably DO dork out. Sigh…sometimes I hate teenagers too. Sayonara, ~LA
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