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Because I can't bear to eulogize Doug - 2008-08-19
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12:52 p.m. - 2005-07-25
I got tongued by a giraffe yesterday. And here you thought things in the burbs were boring. True story, though. I had giraffe tongue all over me. Very odd experience. According to the owner, when the animals aren't doing the fair circuit they are movie actors. Quite the impressive credit list too. Who knew there were so many roles for giraffes? A few of my friends are actors and I'll bet it's discouraging to lose a part to some 15' tall guy with a blue tongue. Aside from licking all the gel off my hairdo, the giraffe was quite friendly. Not much of a conversationalist, but very gracious about accepting pets and scratches. Seemed pleased with the carrots too. Liked them almost as much as he liked my hair gel. Yes, we were at the county fair yesterday. As interesting as it would be, it's not like the giraffes live in the neighborhood and stopped by for some head licking and munchies. I adore the county fair. My grinchier friends complain about $4.00 sodas the size of thimbles and mutter about corn dogs made from stray cats. Bah! County fairs are like holidays- don't bitch about the cost, don't fret about calories, don't grumble about crowds and uncomfortable weather, just throw yourself headlong into the fun and live it up. Wolf was Da Man yesterday! The kid couldn't lose. He won two pocket knives, two goldfish, and enough coupons at the bingo ball game to score a revolving multi-colored disco light. Alex, I am ashamed to admit, was a little put off by his brother's success. He felt as the elder brother that all game prowess should be his by dint of right of succession. Wolf's unerring accuracy with tossed rings and ping pong balls galled him. It didn't help that one game operator gave Alex a wee plastic whistle as a consolation prize after Wolf creamed him in the water pistol race. Wolf staggered off with a huge stuffed snake wrapped around his shoulders while Alex stared at the little tweety whistle in his palm and muttered unprintable things. Cruel mother that I am I laughed and laughed then helpfully suggested Alex could add his new whistle to his growing collection of musical instruments. His future students were sure to be wowed by it. The needlework entries this year were uninspiring. But I found myself with a whopping case of cucumber envy. So far I've netted exactly ONE cucumber from my garden and here these little 4-H kids had bushels of them. Nor was I best pleased when one rather exuberant sheep started gnawing on my new pink t-shirt. Still and all I was glad to see that in this increasingly citified area that animal husbandry and farming haven't gone completely by the wayside. I got to have my yearly commune with the cows. I had another huge laugh when one sweet looking bossy let loose a very wet splat of poop right at the feet of a gang of teenage Orthodox Jewish girls. Those girls freaked right the hell out. My idiomatic Yiddish is pretty good and those girls were saying stuff I knew would make their rabbi plotz. They should have been grateful they were dressed modestly. If they'd been gentiles odds are they'd have been wearing shorts and sandals. Their flip-flops would have been awash in cow plop. Gosh, I just love the county fair. Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, ~LA
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