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Because I can't bear to eulogize Doug - 2008-08-19
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1:59 p.m. - 2005-07-20
Okay, you know that thing where somebody comes up and stomps on your new white sneakers? I never got it. I never got why anyone would think this was funny. I never got why someone would want to muck up someone else's new white sneakers. What point is served? When you object to having your new white sneakers stomped on the stomper always grins meanly and tells you that you can't take a joke. What joke is that? There's a big belly laugh in having your new special things get all grungy? I must be extremely humor deficient. Not once has having something of mine get all ruined at someone else's hands (or feet) made me laugh. I used to be a fan of the TLC show Overhaulin'. But the longer I watched, the meaner the show got. It wasn't enough anymore that the mark had a bad time when his precious car went missing. Now the show makes the unknowing 'contestants' suffer nine kinds of hell before giving their refurbished cars back. Tries to make them into total fools too by playing mean tricks. Having a faux street person offer to sell the guy parts off his own missing car. Phony police sting operations. Even mutilating a special goodie from the car and telling the guy there's a similar fate awaiting the rest of the car and even the guy himself if ransom demands aren't met. Just cruel stuff. The original intent of the show was to give someone a treat. To secretly make off with someone's beloved and irreplaceable car, totally clean it up and trick it out and then give it back. To have the car re-done because the owner was a terrific person who deserved a special treat. Now Overhaulin' is all about the cruelty. They hardly show you the refurbishing work, the show's focus is on hard they can jerk someone's chain. How much they can use someone's distress and love against them. Gee. That's sooooo entertaining. Not. I grew up in a house where the prevailing 'humor' was of the Kick Me Hard sign variety. Nothing made my family laugh harder than someone else's humiliation and tears. I hated it. The ragging never stopped. And the more hurt you were, the bigger the laughs. Always, always I was accused of being thin skinned and oversensitive. I was told I just didn't know funny when I saw it. Excuse me? I worked as a birthday party clown and have been offered gigs as a stand-up comedian. I know funny. Humiliation, spoiling treats, and using someone's good nature against them isn't funny. Not at all. You know what I hope? I hope Luna Lovegood and Neville Longbottom make a go of it. I hope they fall in love and marry and have a ton of babies. I hope they make a life together full of support and kindness. No two people in the Potter universe deserve it more. On a personal note, this flare is kicking my ass. I'm guessing the physical stress from the pollution triggered this episode. I'm zapped with all of it. Pukes, shakes, discombobulation, pain, insomnia compounded by full body exhaustion, eyeballs out of sync…ugh. I'm all over bruises from whacking into things. One up thing, I can't eat. Crawling back to bed now. ~LA
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