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Fairytales for a Practical Princess - 2008-11-30
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11:39 p.m. - 2005-07-16
Harry Potter? Been there. Done that. Holy Shit. That's all about the book for right now. I'll wait until everyone has caught up. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? I've thought this from the first preview umpty billion months ago and didn't change my mind at all during tonight's show. How on God's green earth did someone as gorgeous as Johnny Depp end up looking like Gloria Vanderbilt? Fricken creepy. No, I didn't have Michael Jackson cross-over, it was the Poor Little Rich Girl all the way. That pageboy, man. Eeeew. Whenever I watch a Tim Burton movie I always come away with the feeling he could have been a lot weirder, but chickened out. He offers glimmers of serious kookiness then gets cold feet or something. I say let the weirdness reign. No more half-assed strange-osity. Go whole hog, guy. Nothing worse than wimpy subversiveness. Tim, old bean, go watch John Waters. Learn to embrace your oddity. In the battle of the Candymen, it's a 1971 smackdown. Gene Wilder still kicks Wonka ass. Depp was out of his depth. And Jack Albertson was Grandpa Joe. No if, ands, or buts. However, we were spared Cheer up, Charlie, so that's an improvement. A good one, but sadly the only one. Ooompa-Loompas still rule though. I was struck by something last night and have been mulling it over. I made a key discovery about why I am seen as such a hard case. It's language. I give the impression that I'm an overbearing strega because of my vocabulary. No, not the profanity. Example? Last night I began an entry like this: 'I made Mike take me for a ride tonight…' I made him? Uh, no. I didn't make Mike do anything. I was going stirry and I asked him if he'd take me for a ride. Nicely. I asked nicely. Yet when I went to talk about it later the bully language cropped up. I come across like a pushy demanding bitch. I'm a lot nicer than I sound. I am also so tired I can't type anymore. Every other stroke is a backspace. Time for bed. ~LA
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