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My Profile
Retro-retrospection - 2008-10-06
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5:51 p.m. - 2005-06-28
In a continuing quest to get a grip on my wayward self I went to meditation last night. I don't care that it was 94 degrees, there must have been a blizzard 'cause the room was full of flakes. What is it about alternative spirituality that makes it so densely populated with meglomaniacal dipshits? And let us not forget the fawning twittering sycophants. Every self-involved guru has to have a fan club. Actually last night's guru only had one sycophant but this was sufficient, Ms Guru was her own biggest fan. I swear the woman's nipples got hard while she was talking about herself and her deep insights into her own amazing and meaningful, yet quirkily chaotic life. I wanted to smack her. I was forcefully reminded again why I don't belong to a coven. Why I stay away from psychic gatherings. And why I stay out of stores with badly limned tarot images and cross eyed angels painted on the front windows. I have a real low tolerance for prattling dingbats and last night I had an 'audience' with their Queen. People, this nit-wit was so competitive she usurped my name! I swear. We were going around the room introducing ourselves and when I said my name she jumped in and said, "OH! I'm really LA. I go by Lisa Ann, but it gets sooooo tiring writing it out all the time (as if to imply she signs autographs all day) that I'm actually just 'LA'. Isn't that sweet how you took MY name?" If I'd known that she was going to be leading the meditation I wouldn't have gone. See, I met her once before. She was part of a crew that came to the old house to look for ghosts last year. We'd already moved out and I allowed the ghost hunters to give the place a going over. The others were respectful and this nimrod barged around exclaiming and snottily lecturing me about the one entity she sensed, as if I was a psychic dullard and completely too mundane to ever get a glimpse of the ghosts in the house I'd lived in for 12 years. She talked down to the other ghost hunters too. Including a PhD in paranormal sciences who'd worked on the Amityville House. You know, all I wanted was to get unblocked a little and pep up my meditation technique and what I got was a sour stomach and a headache from this woman running her mouth for an entire hour about the AMAZING connection of a photograph falling out of a book and how she was thinking about that picture just that very afternoon!!! My God, what a fantastic psychic! Why, why, why can't I ever find some decent 'normal' people who understand the mind/body/energy connections? Ones who don't give themselves airs or slot off into nonsense and idiocy? Just because one tries to expand the senses and explore the unseen doesn't mean one has to be an asshole. Tell you what. If I ever see that twat Lisa Ann again I'll be just like the kid in The Sixth Sense for I, too, will see dead people. Blech, ~LA
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