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Fairytales for a Practical Princess - 2008-11-30
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9:27 p.m. - 2005-06-17
Either I'm damned to Hell or I've finally come to my senses. I did extreme girlie things today. I bought tile. Okay, not very girlie, but it was me and a bunch of cement dusty contractors. I was the only one wearing high heeled sandals and long dangly earrings, so there ya go. Then I bought shoes. On sale shoes. Frivolous on sale shoes. Would you believe lime green mules? The heels are about 3" high and the part that goes across my foot is made of pink, yellow, lime green, and white striped satin tied in a bow. Carmen Miranda would approve. I also bought a pair of beige linen pumps. Wildly impractical, they are totally autumn shoes and since when does a New England fall not include rain and icy mud? I'm thinking they are probably single-use shoes. S'okay though, they were $4.00. I also bought a purse. I finally found a smallish bag with a shoulder strap. Fricken handbags are a total pain. My lifestyle demands I have both hands free. I am NEVER going to drop my purse into the crook of my elbow like an old lady, which is the only way to free up your hand unless you put your handbag down entirely. Yeah, that's a good idea. Dim as I am these days? No way. I'm strictly a shoulder bag kind of chick. Silly shoes, new purse, the girliness doesn't stop there. Bold as brass I walked into a nail salon and got a pedicure. I know, right? Me? Two years ago I couldn't buy myself a stinking 99 cent Wet-n-Wild lipstick without huge guilt trauma. And today I paid someone to wash my feet and paint my toenails. It was necessary though, I needed spiffy toenails to go with the cute shoes. The nail salon was weird. I walked in and the entire staff turned as one and yelled hello with demented cheerfulness. Like a sushi bar. Scared me a little. Was I going to wobble back out with California Rolls at the ends of my ankles? I also wasn't expecting it to be a Korean place. As I crossed the parking lot I mentally braced myself for dealing with some surly Bronx-bred bimbo with 4" talons, a bad perm, a wad of gum, a shitload of gold jewelry, and a big fat ass. To be greeted so maniacally by a troop of grinning Asian women threw me for a loop. The process was quite relaxing. The operator didn't have much English, but she knew her stuff. Leg massage while I was in the big throne chair and a shoulder/neck massage while I sat at the dryer. I left feeling relaxed and pretty. If I'd known nail salons were this much fun I would have started going years ago. After that there wasn't anything to do but go on a drug store make-up spree. Plus I made Mike take me out to dinner. It just so happens that the only lime green top I own is one of those super-duper low necked ones Mike bullied me into buying. Yup, I went to Red Robin wearing my new shoes and the nekkid top. Acres of cleavage. Made the waiter stutter. It wasn't homo horror, he was straight. I know because he didn't say anything about the shoes. No gay guy would let those shoes go by without a comment. Anyhow, along with the stutter our waiter had the terrified look of someone desperate not to say the wrong thing. "More tits…uh…fries, Ma'am?" "Another handful…er…refill?" Mike was practically wetting himself laughing watching this kid suffer. Now I know why he made my buy those shirts. Sadistic bastard, ain't he? Over-indulgent and over-exposed, ~LA
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