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Because I can't bear to eulogize Doug - 2008-08-19
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2:43 p.m. - 2005-05-25
I am having a random attack of the sillies. I had an open-faced peanut butter sandwich for breakfast and arranged a smiley face of M&Ms on it. Wellbutrin and M&Ms- the breakfast of peri-menopausal champions everywhere. Today's Fabulous Broad quote is: 'I always want more. That's me. I'm a bitch.' -Madonna. I like this. I like Madonna too. Always have. I also like what I found out about my kid. My son is a more radical feminist than I am. He wrote a paper this semester about the bias against women in Greek Mythology. Specifically how low motives were always ascribed to the goddesses and they were portrayed as a pack of backstabbing whores. The gods were sometimes small minded twerps too, but on the whole were seen as heroic and beneficent. And the goddesses were always just selfish bimbos with super powers. It didn't seem fair to Alex and he expounded on the cultural echoes of that bias right up to modern day. Did I raise my kid right or what? (He got an A, btw.) Wolf is on a field trip today. All the second graders were taken to the intermediate school for a tour and a meet-n-greet with the faculty. Podunkville has four schools. The primary school for K-2. The intermediate school for 3-5. The middle school for 6-8. And the traditional 9-12 high school. I'm kind of dumbstruck over my baby being promoted out of the primary school. God, the first 5 years of his life took an eternity. Since he started school time has gone into warp drive. Whole years go by in mere moments. My elder son is going into his junior year of college and my little guy will be attending a school with lockers, homerooms, and sanitary napkin dispensers in the girl's rooms. Huh? When the hell did this happen? So yeah, when I was at the clothier to the stars, Old Navy, the other night I bought just about the dumbest most impractical piece of clothing a woman of my age and station could buy. Yes, I got a couple pairs of denim Daisy Dukes, but they are far more sane than the other thing. I bought a white gauze gypsy skirt. Oh yeah, just what a heedless gardener who has her period 3 days out of 5 needs. A white, sort of see-through skirt. Boo-yah! And can anyone explain to me why Mike, who has never made a secret of his distaste for my excessive boobage, insisted I buy a couple of obscenely low necked t-shirts? Seriously, he was adamant that I buy these things. I put one on when we got home and there was so much cleavage bared that Charo would tell me to cover up. Fricken Ren Faire bodices are more modest than these t-shirts. I'm sure as hell never leaving the house in them, that's for sure. I might have at 20, maybe. At 42? Not a fucking chance. Don't lecture me. I know all about the Lady Godiva factor. A woman serene in her exposure is never pathetic. I dig it. However I would NOT be serene being that exposed. I'd be jumpy and nervous and embarrassed and therefore my discomfort would telegraph and I'd be an object of derision. There are worse neuroses than wanting to always err on the side of classy age-appropriate behavior. Excuse me for not wanting to be an over-the-hill bimbo. Hey, even Madonna wears her underwear inside her clothes these days. There's a dryer full of unfolded clothes calling my name. Gotta go. ~LA
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