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My Profile
Retro-retrospection - 2008-10-06
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10:15 a.m. - 2005-04-26
Lifted from the ever erudite Ladybugge A Mommy Survey Name: LA the Sage Age: 42 Location: Downstate NY Mommy Stats Age at which you had your first baby: 21, Alex arrived 5 days before my 22nd birthday. How many kids you have: 2 How many you want(ed): 4 Would you ever give a baby up for adoption? Considering the trouble I had staying pregnant I can’t imagine giving my baby up for adoption. Though if my life were radically different I might have if it meant the baby would have a safe comfortable life and I couldn’t provide that. Would you ever consider adopting a baby? Mike and I looked into adopting a Romanian child after the fall of Chauchescu, but I’d been diagnosed with the MS by then. We were dismissed out of hand. The chronically ill don’t have much chance at adoption. Would you ever be a surrogate mom? No. I’m not against surrogacy, I just couldn’t carry a child that wasn’t mine. Are you married, engaged, dating? I am ridiculously married. Pregnancy (for Mommies with more then 1, think back to 1st baby) First thought when you found out: Really? Really?? Holy shit! YAY!!!! First person you told: Mike, duh. Length of pregnancy: 9 months, 3 weeks, 2 days Cravings: Ribs. BBQ ribs. Worst part(s) of being pregnant: Morning sickness that was a 24-7 thing for the first 4 months. Being scared. All the unsolicited ‘advice’. “You shouldn’t eat that!” “You can’t stand like that!” etc etc Best part(s) of being pregnant:Gosh, we were so broke! The most satisfying thing was when we bought the car seat. Our baby could be born now, he’d be safe. Scariest part(s) of being pregnant: Early spotting. Weird cramps. Best piece of advice to newly pregnant moms: Labor lasts less than a day. You’re a mom forever. Don’t get so torqued about the actual birth, if you and the baby make it through alive then everything went well. Even if the zither player was late, you went to the hospital instead of squatting in the handmade birthing yurt in the backyard, or you ‘failed’ and had a C-section. None of that crap is important. A healthy mom and baby is. Any more advice? Keep your belly moisturized. Some stretch marks are inevitable, but keeping the skin soft helps minimize them. Weight gained during pregnancy: 75 pounds How long it took to get weight back off: 9 years. Had 3 lovely years as a normal sized person and then got pregnant and fat all over again. Baby stats Due Date: Dec 24, 1984 Birthday: January 16, 1985 Birth weight: 10lbs 4oz Birth length: 23.5 inches Length of labor: 14 hours Vaginal birth or C-section: Vaginal Did you get pain meds? No, but right near the end they shot me up with something that didn’t dull the pain, it just made me too stupid to scream loudly. Who was with you when baby was born: Mike. The doctor. Some random nurses. Length of hospital stay: 19 hours Mommy in training How long recovery from delivery/c-section took: Resumed intercourse 5 weeks post-birth. I’d already been back at work for 2 weeks. Too broke to not work. Hardest part of recovery: The episiotomy scar was tender and sensitive for a couple years. Scariest part about being a mom: It’s funny, I wasn’t scared of screwing up until way later. Alex was starting school before the self-doubt and worry crept in. Before that I sailed along and Alex thrived. Best thing about being a mom: It’s fun! Worst part about being a mom: How out of step it makes you with single/childless friends. They don’t get it and you wonder how they can’t. What the first night home was like: Long and quiet. Alex slept through the night from the first. Lucky me! First question you felt stupid to ask: I didn’t have many questions. I was too busy fending off all the ‘advice’! Who you asked: N/A Did you breastfeed? Yes. Also supplemented with formula. Never could express enough to keep up with Alex’s huge appetite. I nursed. Mike bottled. It worked. How long: 7 months. When the teeth came in the breast feeding stopped. CHOOSE (Pick just one!) Easier to raise - Boys or Girls? I only have boys and my reasons for not wanting girls have been discussed before. Baby likes better - Veggies or fruits? Alex loved peas and prunes. It’s a toss-up. Easier to deal with - getting spit up on or peed on? Pee. Spit-up smells really rank. Baby sleep in bed w/ you or in crib? Alex slept in a crate at the foot of our bed. Before he left for school Mike would change Alex and tuck him in with me to nurse while we dozed for the rest of the morning. Yes or No (For baby boys) Circumcision or not? Yes. Just our preference. Not a political statement or anything. (For baby girls) Pierced ears before age 1? If we’d had girls, absolutely. Buy more expensive clothing for baby then yourself? Every spare cent we had went toward the kid. Just keeping him modestly clothed strapped us. Thank goodness for grandmothers. Ever tried baby's formula/milk/food? Sure. Mostly to check the temp of warmed things. Invited friends/family only so they could help babysit, without them knowing? Well gosh, that’s pretty skeezy, isn’t it? Never occurred to me to do such a thing. Taken pictures to blackmail baby when old enough to date? Not really. Threatened Alex with the baby pics a couple times, but he’s pretty sanguine about them. He was cute and a first baby, of course there’s millions of pics! Pretended to be asleep when baby was crying? Never. The Bad Mommy police would get me if I ignored a crying baby. Besides, Mike is partially deaf. The kid could be howling in his lap and he wouldn’t hear it. Acted like you didn't smell a poopy diaper so someone else would change it? Nope. See above about the Bad Mommy police. Neither of us were grossed out by diapers so there wasn’t much “No, you do it!” type stuff. Barf? That’s whole nother ballgame. While we’re talking about momming, I would advise my pregnant friends to remember that NOTHING brings out the claws and fangs more than a new-ish mom defending her choices. If you really want to bounce ideas off someone find a mom whose kids are at least teenaged. Also remember that kids are tougher than they look. We all survived our parents. Your kids will survive you. Even if you’re well-read, conscientious and have an autoclave in your purse the kid is going to get sick, bleed, ingest coins, buttons and marbles, projectile vomit, leak poop, and repeat something unprintable in front of your mother-in-law. Everything will be fine. Really. Love, ~LA
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