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Because I can't bear to eulogize Doug - 2008-08-19
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12:34 p.m. - 2004-08-03
When I was in grade school we would blaspheme the Sacraments by feeding each other white Necco wafers and saying, “I receive communion in the Grand Union.” Pretending to take the Holy Host at the grocery store made us shriek with guilty nervous laughter. We worried about God smiting us. But mostly we worried about the nuns overhearing if we risked doing the Necco wafer thing in the school yard. We didn’t fear The Ruler, corporal punishment was out of fashion, we feared something worse…the Doleful Lecture. You have no idea how frightening a disappointed nun is. They must teach it at nun school. The long face, the weary burdened shoulders, the flat despairing tone of voice as she communicated ever so reproachfully the shame of our crime. How ungrateful we were for God’s love. How undeserving. Oh, it made her so sad. If you wanted to be able to look yourself in the face with comfort a Doleful Lecture was to be avoided at all costs. Only total scum would make a nun cry. You know, for women who never had kids they sure had the mom thing down. I try not to be a guilt-tripper mom. But sometimes guilt on the child’s part is the desired result. Guilt is a valid discipline tool when it comes to deliberate misbehavior. If the kid has been told doing a thing is wrong or has even done it before and he knows it’s wrong but went ahead and did it anyway, then the kid should feel guilty. Little stinker. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I know it’s a matter of proportion. Waiting for long hair to look substantially longer takes forever. Yet I’m going to the salon tomorrow to get my mop clipped. It’s barely been 4 weeks, but when hair is as short as mine a month’s growth makes a big difference. Mine grows fast. Handy for the dreadful growing out times. I can go from a buzz like this to hair long enough to ponytail in about 11 months. But fast growing hair means constant trips to the salon if I want to keep it this short. Not that I mind too terribly. It’s always good to see Zee and the girls. I’m determined to drive myself tomorrow. This ought to be good. Gimps on the loose! However, if I’m well enough to scrub floors I’m well enough to get the hell out of here. Only stands to reason. Time to shove off. I’ve got a date with a can of scrubbing bubbles and the upstairs john. ~LA Today’s Pick: “I Am A Rock” by Simon and Garfunkel
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