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Because I can't bear to eulogize Doug - 2008-08-19
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11:50 p.m. - 2004-05-27
Lana left a nice note in my g-book and said something about how being a teenager in the late 70’s was probably really cool. She was sorry she missed out by being too young. I’ve been mulling this all afternoon. Every era has its good and bad points. The late 70’s certainly didn’t seem cool at the time. But considering what’s happened since then, it wasn’t a bad time to be young after all. Good: Sex. No AIDS yet. Casual sex hadn’t become a joke yet either. If you wanted to sleep with somebody you could and the repercussions (if any) were minor. Certainly sex wasn’t lethal and the common assumption of the time was that a good time could be had by all. Bad: Gender discrimination was alive and well in the late 70’s. It was legal to pay women less money for the same work. Every boss I had was male and ‘dumb bitch’ was their favorite pejorative. At the Burger King where I worked, guys were routinely groomed for management positions even though the guys never worked the registers, dealt with customers, or worked most of the food prep stations. They unloaded the deliveries and took out the trash. But having a penis was more important than actual experience so I ended up with ‘bosses’ who didn’t know squat about running the joint and I had to take orders from some fool who until the previous week had reeked of dumpster. Good: Being a Liberal was a positive thing. It meant you were caring, honest, and active. Nowadays being a Liberal is seen as being on par with Devil worshipers, child molesters, and sewer water. Bad: Polyester. Lots of polyester. Leisure suits, anyone? Good: Guys wore clothing that fit. Running shorts were in. Real shorts, not those dopey things guys call shorts now and do little more than expose their ankles like demure 1890’s bathing beauties. In the 70’s a chick could window shop and at least have some idea of the goods offered. I feel sorry for today’s young women. Talk about buying a pig in poke! Anything could be under that gigantic clothing and you won’t know until it’s too late. Bad: Recession, inflation, and the Energy Crisis. Oh the giddy fun of every other day gas rationing! Massive lay-offs! The devaluation of the dollar! Good: Dancing. Everybody boogied to the beat. Even straight white guys danced. Or tried to. Bad: Perms. HOME perms. See Exhibit A in the previous entry. The US went perm crazy and this gave rise to the grossest, most inaccurate term ever. The Body Wave. Technically a body wave was supposed to give your hair fullness and oomph. In actuality a body wave had all the drawbacks of a regular perm and none of the benefits. Fried fuzz was about all anyone got from a body wave, but we went for them anyhow. Good: Drugs. Yes, drugs. No crack. No crystal meth. Marijuana was cheap and readily available. Hash was around, not as cheap as weed, but more bang for your buck. Speaking of cheap, a nickel bag ($5) would last through a couple weeks of heavy smoking. The first time I saw $40 worth of grass it filled an entire car trunk. Bad: Because of the sucky economy and being the tail-end Charlies of the Boomers we had little expectation of the future. Reality hit us hard. We had nothing to look forward to and we knew it. Why do you think we ran around getting stoned and laid? So, there you go, Lana. I don’t know if being a child of the 80’s was any worse than being a bit player from That 70’s Show. At least you didn’t have to deal with a prom date in a powder blue tuxedo. Nostalgically, ~LA
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