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Because I can't bear to eulogize Doug - 2008-08-19
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6:55 p.m. - 2004-05-19
Did the doc thing. Was rational, pleasant, and just a little bit of a bully and…SCORE! A year’s refills! And a month of freebies from the Treasure Trove aka: the sample closet. Man, could I do a Supermarket Sweep in there. Just give me 2 minutes and a Hefty bag. The good stuff is under lock and key, but a raid in the sample closet would get me enough puppy uppers and enough of Mike’s blood pressure and arthritis medicine for at least a year. My numbers were good. 127/75 bp. And this was before I got my ‘script with all the lovely refills. I’m still 5’11”. Unchanged since I was 13 years old. I don’t know, guess I was hoping I’d grown that measly inch so I could claim an honest 6 feet. But really I was secretly hoping that I was shrinking vertically as well as horizontally. Shave off 6, 8 inches and finally look like a real girl instead of a drag queen dressed for casual day at the office. C’mon, LA, give already. What did the SCALE say? Well, I haven’t lost 50 pounds. I’ve lost 48. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAH! Weighed in the late afternoon in all my clothes 4 days before my period. Oh yeah, I haven’t ‘gone’ in a few days either. So. Dump the bloat, the jeans, the studded leather belt, take a poop and…You do the math. If you’ll excuse me, I have some Happy Dancing to do. Pared down, ~LA Stolen from that knitting champ, LO. You are a traditional sort who can sometimes be a
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