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My Profile
Fairytales for a Practical Princess - 2008-11-30
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1:03 p.m. - 2004-05-10
So Mike’s all in my face right now to have some woman come in and ‘give me a hand’. The cleaning lady is the tenant in a place Mike does a lot of work at. (Sorry, sucky grammar.) I’ve spoken to Susan on the phone several times when she’s called to tell Mike the furnace quit again. She’s very nice. It’s not Susan I object to, it’s the implication that my best isn’t good enough. That despite half-killing myself to keep up with house, garden, shopping, and kids I don’t make the cut. He has to bring in reinforcements. I blew it again. I’m never going to be thin enough. I’m never going to keep the house clean enough. I’m never smart enough, happy enough, busy enough, charming enough, pretty enough. Never. Just once in my life I’d like it if someone who was supposed to love me actually liked me the way I am. To bask in approval and know that who I am and what I offer is good would be achieving the dream of a lifetime.* . *This moment of self-doubt has been brought to you by Estrogen. ‘Estrogen it’s not just a hormone, it’s an adventure!’ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I’m telling you, listening to Jewel while scrubbing floors on hands and knees will mess with your mind. It’s not even the lyrics, though those are trippy, its that yearning in Jewel’s voice. I always thought yodeling was a happy thing, but Jewel gets going and next thing I know I’m dripping tears and boogers all over my freshly scrubbed floor. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Never did hear from Alex yesterday. His first Mother’s Day away from home and he didn’t even bother to drop me an e-card. Next time I go on about what a great mother I am, smack me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I need to make an effort to get out more. I’ve become waaaaay too involved with my Sims. I have backstory for each of them. I’ve imagined up all sorts of dramas and feuds and affairs for them to get all tangled in. It’s creepy. I’m thinking I need some real people to talk to. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Back to work for me. I’m going to prove to my husband that he doesn’t need to bring in some other woman to take up my slack if it kills me. Which it might. Bloody knuckled and determined, ~LA
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