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She blinded him with whiteness - 2008-07-25
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11:04 p.m. - 2004-04-29
Ah yes, those golden days of yesteryear when life was loverly and nobody had any problems. Everything was grand when Ike was in the White House. Unless of course you were Jewish. Restricted neighborhoods were legal. So were Jewish quotas at universities. It was legal to deny Jews membership in social clubs, fraternal organizations, and business associations. Not too many Silversteins in the Rotary Club or Elks Lodge during the Golden Years. Kosher food was only available in select venues, practically nowhere in the ‘burbs to buy matzoh. Chances are if you lived outside a Jewish neighborhood, nobody knew you were Jewish anyhow. It wasn’t really a good idea to advertise. But hey, life was still great, right? Unless you were gay. It wasn’t too terrible. You only had to deny everything you were, live a shamed and secretive existence, and never ever once get to openly be in love. Those small quibbles aside, life was terrific! Unless you were hauled before the House Un-American Activities Committee. Joseph McCarthy’s Big Book of Names was actually blank. The man ruined hundreds of lives in a meglomaniacal Commie witch-hunt he made up of whole cloth and spite. A witch-hunt which just happened to focus on Hollywood and the banking industry, nothing to do with there being a lot of Jews and Gay folk involved with movies and finance! Nuh uh. No sirree. It was Commies they were after. We’re still a go for “I Like Ike”, everybody knows life was better Then. Unless you were physically or mentally handicapped or mentally ill. Involuntary life-time committals to often gruesome institutions. Unregulated drug regimens. Many of the mentally ill and handicapped underwent forced sterilizations to prevent there being any more ‘misfits’ born into the otherwise happy and perfect society. If you were only physically disabled maybe you got lucky and were sent to a trade school. Wasn’t it a happy coincidence that blind guys make the best piano tuners and broom makers? Yeah, when Caddies had 36” tailfins there was no ugliness or violence. Just ask Black people. What’s that you say? Black people weren’t happy with their lot in life? What’s not to like? Making less money? Being denied access to a decent education? Not being served in restaurants or allowed to shop in certain stores? Being denied the right to vote? Lynchings? Picky, picky, picky. Wasn’t Pat Boone nice enough to record all those Little Richard tunes? He didn’t have to, you know. Well so far it’s only those marginal types who seem to be unhappy rabble-rousers. All the important people were living large in the 50’s and that’s what really matters. Um, pardon us for butting in, but the weaker sex has something to say. Now wait just a darn minute! You’re telling me women had some kind of beef too? Didn’t we win WWII for them? Didn’t we come back from the war and settle them into nice houses with automatic washing machines? They didn’t have to worry their little empty heads about making a living. Men provided. So it was only fair that we got to have our fun. Heh heh heh, my secretary gave dictation on both knees. Had to fire six or seven girls before I found one who understood her job. Of course the best colleges were men-only! We were the ones who had careers. Gals make babies, that’s their calling in life. And just to make sure every woman could fulfill her destiny, we made birth control illegal in the majority of states. Abortion was available only to the wealthy, who could afford a trip to Puerto Rico. Poor women, especially unmarried women, resorted to ridding themselves of an unwanted pregnancy by shoving coat hangers into their uteri and ingesting lethal cocktails of lye and bergamot. If I smack my wife around a little, what business is it of yours? I’m entitled, she’s my wife. Just like it’s my house, my car, and my money. What’s mine is mine and what’s hers is mine. Life was fantastic then. Really! You could have asked Ike himself except he was shacked up with his long-time mistress Kay Sommersby. Good thing Ken Starr was still in diapers, eh? Oh, wait. Only slimy Democrats cheat on their wives. My bad. Maybe there were a few tiny problems. But so what? Big deal. The kikes, the faggots, the retards, the nut jobs, the niggers, and the broads didn’t matter in the larger scheme. White guys were happy. Wasn’t that enough? Let’s hear it for the Fabulous Fifties! ~LA Tonight’s Pick: “Golden Years” by David Bowie
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