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My Profile
Retro-retrospection - 2008-10-06
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9:03 p.m. - 2003-04-20
He's here! Our friend the Dairyman just called to say he had a brand new son! Babies are always the best news. Dairybride has remarkable strength of will and refuses to find out the baby's sex beforehand. With her first pregnancy it was even more difficult to wait because we needed to buy stuff. Dairybride is the butchest straight chick I know, so in either case the new baby wasn't going to be all frills and laces, but some clue as to the baby's sex would have at least given us a direction to go in. Gender neutral baby stuff is becoming harder and harder to find as most NORMAL people have the kid's gender nailed by the second sonogram. But not Dairybride, she has to make everyone wait because SHE wants to be surprised. Like her feelings about her baby are more important than us knowing which color Onesies to buy. Some people have a lot of nerve. heh heh heh So Dairykid #2 is here. A boy. 8lbs 12oz, 21 inches. Named for his daddy, the third in the Dairy Dynasty. Dairybride was a bit concerned about what they'd actually call the kid since both Dairyman Sr and Jr have the same name too. I suggested Trey. Most Such and Such the Thirds I know go by Trey. Dairybride mused, "Hmmn...not bad." So Trey it might be. Dairykid #1 is now a big sister. This is going to put a real crimp in her butt. At 2 1/2 she is THE ruler of the roost and will not take kindly to this interloping little brother. Not only did she have Mom and Dad dancing to her demanding tune, but she had Grandma all to herself. Not any more! Let the turf wars begin. One of the funniest ironies about my friend is that she grew up on a dairy farm in Switzerland. Married a dairy farmer. And yet she doesn't nurse her kids. They are bottle babies from the get-go. You'd think that out of anyone she'd be the easiest about being a moo cow herself. Teats are teats, milk is milk, etc. But nuh uh, she finds the whole idea of nursing repulsive. She also finds it funny that compared to Europeans, Americans are total prudes about nudity, yet here in the States everywhere you go women are whipping out a boob and sticking a kid on it. That may be so, but that doesn't mean nursing mothers are always allowed to do their thing. Nor are images of nursing mothers considered "decent". Following John Ashcroft's example of "Cover them things up!", our nearby airport declared war on lactation. A local artist was asked to display a selection of her work in the lobby of the terminal. She did, gladly. One of the paintings was of a mother and child, a baby at mother's breast, nothing overtly salacious. Yet airport management declared the painting "obscene" and removed it. Now you must also understand that within this same lobby there were several adverts for airlines and resorts, and many of the adverts featured VERY scantily clad women. The newsstand sells trash mags like "Maxim" and "Club". So it's not like the terminal is some kind of Prude's Paradise. The artist objected to her work being called obscene and yanked all of her paintings. The usual small town pushie-pushie erupted. The airport management made some stuffy "standards of the community" statements. The La Leche League staged a "nurse-in" and a couple dozen women sat around breastfeeding. Airport management in a flash of pure genius had the women and their babies removed at gun point and pressed trespassing charges. Eventually the whole thing died down, most of the charges were dropped, but to this day traveling mothers must sit on a toilet in the ladies room if they want to nurse their babies. God Bless America and those brave airport guys for protecting us from tits. However there doesn't seem to be any shortage of BOOBS. ~LA
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