|
My Profile
Retro-retrospection - 2008-10-06
|
11:10 p.m. - 2003-04-19
Selected dumb things. I ran into a sort of friend of mine a couple weeks ago. She hugged me and said, "LA! You always smell so good! What do you wear?" I explained I wear a squirt or two of three different perfumes. (Opium, Cinnabar, Alyssa Ashley Musk) She gasped and cried, "ALL AT ONCE????" Well, yeah. So? She was totally astonished and said, "I didn't know you were ALLOWED to do that!" Allowed?!?!? What? Are the Perfume Police going to come and arrest me for being a multiple perfume user? Sheesh. Yet another semi-friend was kvetching to me on the phone recently about how hard it is to find decent foundation once you're 40. The stuff just slides into the crater sized pores and makes you look like you have flesh colored measles. I agreed and said wearing foundation after 40 was a bugger all right. She grunted and asked what I was talking about, what with my beautiful skin and how I never wore make-up and all. Never wore make-up? She was kidding, right? Man, I TROWEL that shit on. She stammered, "But...but...but LA, you don't LOOK like you're wearing make-up! Well...DUH! That's the fucking point, isn't it? Sometimes I think it's kind of a mercy I'm here in my house so much these days. A steady diet of dopes like those two and I'd become a hermit voluntarily. But I really shouldn't hold myself up as any kind of paragon of smarts. To wit: On the way from this house to the new house we pass a small barnyard animal petting zoo. It's just a big surround with a couple goats, sheep, and farm poultry. There's a couple shelters for the animals too. And almost every time we go past there's a duck on the roof of one of the little animal houses. I worried over it for days. I was honestly puzzled by the duck on the roof. I could not figure out how a duck could climb up there with those stumpy little duck legs. I pictured it scrabbling for toe holds with its little webby feet and clamping its bill on small projections as it hoisted itself up. Such an intrepid little duck to work so hard to get to its favorite vantage point. CLIMB??? Uh huh. That whole a duck is a BIRD thing totally escaped me. DOH! C'mon, fess up. Drop me a line about your favorite DUH moment. It's nice to share. When someone shares with me, I feel glad! Hoppy Easter. ~LA
|
