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Fairytales for a Practical Princess - 2008-11-30
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7:09 a.m. - 2002-09-21
Wolf’s teacher is on a collision course. It’s a race to see whether she gets fired or she has a nervous breakdown first. I’ve gone from being totally furious with her to feeling sorry for her in the last 3 days. She’s inexperienced. She’s in waaaaay over her head. And my tiffy with her this week was a love tap compared to the beating she got from the other parents Thursday night. Mike and I left the Parent Orientation wondering if Mrs. M would get to her car before breaking down or whether she’d lose it and start bawling right there at her desk. Let me see if I can outline the situation. Wolf has been placed in the “structured” class. This class is for the kids with attention and language and behavior “issues”. It’s a mixed grade level group with students from kindergarten through second grade. This class used to be Mrs. S’s class. Mrs. S has been teaching special ed for 17 years. Some kind of contract snafu and out goes Mrs. S and in comes the young and shaky Mrs. M. Thrown into the deep end of the pool and expected to not only keep her head above water, but to swim. Swim, carrying 11 little boys with behavior problems AND follow the curriculum AND deal with some seriously angry parents who expect her not to deviate a whit from the way Mrs. S used to do things AND manage a classroom not set up AT ALL for this multi grade level approach. (The district really botched things with this hire and their “new and improved” way of organizing the kids’ activities. There’s not a minute of the day where some group or another isn’t being moved in or out of the classroom. Hardly conducive for good learning in a regular class, let alone one for kids with attention problems.) Mrs. M is vastly underprepared for her job. Not unqualified educationally, but the ink is barely dry on her diploma. She has one year of teaching to her credit and none at all with special ed kids. Nor is she of the right kind of temperament for this class. She’s fluttery, idealistic, disorganized, and unsure of herself. The kids she’s supposed to teach (to say nothing of the parents!) are going to chew her up and spit her out. She’s a toy poodle trying to do a pit bull’s job. Not good. We parents of the 3 kindergarteners watched with horrified fascination as the visibly shaking Mrs. M was all but lynched by the first and second graders’ parents Thursday night. The mob was led by a complete bitch on wheels who Mike and I have dubbed Mrs. Eyebrows. Mrs. Eyebrows’ son is a second grader. Promised by the school that her child would be under the capable guidance of Mrs. S until he goes to the intermediate school next year, Mrs. Eyebrows is a walking hissy fit about the change of teachers. Even if Maria Montessori and Annie Sullivan had taken over, Mrs. Eyebrows would have blown a gasket. And poor wobbly Mrs. M is so wrong for the job that Mrs. Eyebrows is foaming at the mouth. She came into the orientation already seething and Mrs. M’s stuttering and flustered presentation just flamed the fire under the cauldron of Mrs. Eyebrows’ anger. Repeated body blows. THUD! “Why haven’t the kids gotten homework yet?” WHAM! “How can my son transition to a regular class if he’s losing weeks of ground while you try and figure things out?” SLAM! “My son needs order and continuity and you haven’t even assigned reading groups yet!” WHACK! “You can’t even get the kids to sit still!” POW! BIFF! SMACK! On and on it went until finally Mrs. M was so pale I thought she was going to pass out. Zack’s mom and I tried to bring the tirade and attack to a stop and tried to bring the discussion back to what can be done and how we can make this situation work. But Mrs. Eyebrows was having none of it. She was going to get her licks in and fuck anyone who got in her way. (Wonder where her kid gets his obsessive behavior from?) Now granted, I’m not thrilled with Mrs. M’s performance so far either, but jeeze Louise! Cut the woman a break! Crucifixion is hardly the correct way to build confidence and rapport. Plus Mrs. Eyebrows is so caught up in the minutia of special ed procedure, so wound up about what she believes her son is ENTITLED to, so torqued about what SHE thinks the class should be, and so bent about the loss of the wonderful Mrs. S that she’s lost sight of the real goal. Um, Mrs. Eyebrows? Isn’t the point that your son gets an education? How about you put down your torch and pitchfork and LISTEN for a minute? How about putting aside your vendetta and instead concentrate on bringing some harmony to this discordant class? Instead of making snide attacks on Mrs. M and screaming about her inadequacies, how about you be a mensch and an adult about this? As I watched Mrs. Eyebrows and her henchmen turn Mrs. M into stir-fry I had to wonder who REALLY needed the behavior management and remedial work on their attention problems. Fasten your safety belts, it’s gonna be a bumpy school year. LA’s Pick of the Day: “Be True To Your School” by The Beach Boys
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